Depression Test

Taking this short test may help you determine if you may need to seek a diagnosis from a mental health professional for depression treatment.

Depression Test Instructions: Please take this test online, and track your mood results weekly. You can also use the results to share with you doctor to help monitor your weekly mood changes. Please note that changes of five or more points are significant. Finally, please keep in mind that that this test is not designed to make a diagnosis for depression. For a diagnosis you must seek the the help of a doctor or a mental health professional.

The questions below refer to how you felt and behaved during the past week. For each question, indicate the extent which you blieve each question is true by checking the box next to the question.

  1. I do things slowly.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  2. My future seems hopeless.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  3. It is hard for me to concentrate on reading.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  4. The pleasure and joy has gone out of my life.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  5. I have difficulty making decisions.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  6. I have lost interest in aspects of life that used to be important to me.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  7. I feel sad, blue, and unhappy.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  8. I am agitated and keep moving around.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  9. I feel fatigued.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  10. It takes great effort for me to do simple things.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  11. I feel that I am a guilty person who deserves to be punished.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  12. I feel like a failure.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  13. I feel lifeless -- more dead than alive.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  14. My sleep has been disturbed -- too little, too much, or broken sleep.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  15. I spend time thinking about HOW I might kill myself.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  16. I feel trapped or caught.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  17. I feel depressed even when good things happen to me.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much
  18. Without trying to diet, I have lost, or gained, weight.
    Not at all
    Just a little
    Quite a lot
    Very much

Please remember these test results do NOT indicate a diagnosis, and should not replace the services of trained medical professional! Also please checkout our bipolar test site.


mark j December 11, 2011 at 7:51 am

Its for my boyfriend

Roy December 11, 2011 at 9:51 pm

Just trying to find some answers and hopefully a solution to how I feel.

Tyler December 12, 2011 at 2:49 am

hi … im depressed :(

richy December 12, 2011 at 3:27 am

So lonely, misunderstood!! can not fuckin belive how bad my life is since forever!! SICK and TIRED of it!!!! tired of takin shit from my own father!! tired of being so helpless and lonely!! im 21 and still virgin!!! cant go on with life any more!! cant take it any more!!

Tommy December 26, 2011 at 7:02 pm

I’m only bothering to make this comment because I used to say things just like what you did. The whole concept of “virginity” pisses me off…. it’s treated like a black and white thing. You should never let that sort of thing get to you. Think of it as an unopened gift. It’s not going anywhere, and neither should you.

Shaye December 28, 2011 at 3:41 am

Honey I wish I had that issue!!! MY virginity has been gone so long that I think it was a myth :-) Seriously, that one characteristic is treated so cavalierly and it really shouldn’t be. I wish I would have waited for the right person to share such a precious gift with…’s funny how a decision I made years ago still is having an impact on my life. This isn’t just a female perspective quite a few guys I know feel the same way. And no not just the ones I have been intimate with an were feeding me some kinda bullshit line :-) I hope this helps and take care of yourself!!!

Melissa December 28, 2011 at 11:00 pm

Oh Sweetie,
Please go on with your life. I take a lot of criticism from my parents. I may not be 21, but I still think I’ve got to live for-as the same with you. Find what you love, or just let life take its course. This test says that I have “Severe Depression”. I got a 68. Even today, I was contemplating what I had to live for. Truth is that I got my life to live, my passions to pursue, and my dreams to achieve. Take it from a depressed 12-year-old, you’ve got plenty of things to live for. Just from your response, I can tell you’ve got a love life that needs to find itself. You’ve got to prove your dad wrong at whatever he’s nitpicking on. You’ve got the freedom of a wild horse. Let life show you the way. Trust your instincts and the Lord. God wouldn’t like anyone to commit suicide on account of their own father. I can understand how you believe that you are misunderstood. I know how you feel. I get pushed around by people on a daily basis, just like I’m sure that’s your case, too. Maybe he’s just pushing you to go in the right direction.
Again, you’ve got things to live for.

kelly December 30, 2011 at 12:20 am

I scored 90 and im only 17 i put up wiyh more anyone in my family. My parents treat me like shit so i get all of you.

Patrick January 1, 2012 at 4:50 am

i made 68 to, i never thought id be this depressed.

K-C-P January 1, 2012 at 1:47 pm

i got the same score, and dam dude ur name is patrick too.

Meg January 3, 2012 at 3:03 pm

I made 79….. Yay….?

Vaila January 1, 2012 at 6:32 am

I have been depressed since I was around 11 or 12 (so maybe 4 years now). In a way, it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one that had this so early in life while still being a child. I always thought that I was strange to have it so young, but you made me fully see that this could happen to anyone, anywhere, at any age. I scored a 72 today, and it frightens me.

Rina January 3, 2012 at 3:13 pm

Wow, Melissa! I am very inspired and amazed by your courage to speak out at 12 and say what others would be afraid to say! Keep up that courage and don’t let anyone take that determination to live life to the fullest. I wish I had had your boldness at 12! And please do continue to trust in the Lord with all your heart and don’t lean on your own understanding. If you do that, in everything you do, He will direct your paths and order your steps. Peace and blessings,

Anthony December 29, 2011 at 4:09 am

Hey man I may not be 21 but I have the same problems. I have spent hours at night just thinking of how to kill myself. I have nothin good to do with my life. I scored a 77 which is severe depression and I’m 14. I only have one good thing to live for and that is my girlfriend. She is the best girl I could find. But im sure I’m going to get dumped. Try to keep on living. Life just might surprise you and things might just go your way.

Sabrina December 30, 2011 at 10:10 pm

I’m 14 and I got 72 two as a score and I’ve tried killing my self before. I don’t have anyone that loves me, everyone treats me like shit. I really don’t have a future so I don’t know why I’m alive for.

Rohit Mehta January 1, 2012 at 2:43 pm

Hey Dear,

Are you living for people around you?? or urself. They treat u like Shit? Give them shit. I had friends who ditched me everytime. I am not 14, I’m 23. But my friends were cruel. Today, I am much more successful..Earning heavy DOllars (Rupees) and the fact that I have a lovely Mom, Great Dad and Sis and other FEW but close people. Those friends today respect me a lot. So, bottom line – Concentrate on a career..have few but trusted friends and ya, most important talk to ur family… Have a wonderful life ahead :))))

Chloe January 2, 2012 at 11:24 pm

Jesus loves you . . . that’s a fact.

You’re alive because you have a purpose that God has given you. You may not know what that is yet, and that’s okay! Just pray to Him, ask Him for answers.

Call Him into your heart so you can live for Him :) Just follow the ol’ ABC:

A = admit you are a sinner and that you make mistakes. And then turn away from them, leave them behind. Repent!

B = believe with all your heart, mind, and soul that Jesus is God’s son and that God sent Jesus to save people from their sins! Believe that Jesus died on the cross for us, and then rose from the dead!

C = call the LORD into your heart, let the Holy Spirit fill your being! Confess that you want Jesus to be the LORD of your life and commit to Him! Trust in Him to be your Savior, and your LORD!

And you are a Christian. Pick up a copy of The Bible . . . it’ll do ya good :) I promise. And pray! God answers your prayers with three things: Yes, No, or Wait.

He knows whats best for you, even when you don’ t or think you do. He loves you that much: take on ALL of your problems. Let Him save you. He would love nothing more :)

God bless . . . (:

Haley December 30, 2011 at 9:00 pm

I know how you feel. I’m 14 and I scored a 66 on the test. My parents and my brother always critisize me. My friends refuse to admit that they hate me. Yesterday I was doing the dishes and I was alone. I was washing a steak knife and I thought of how easy it would be to just kill my self with it. I have a dream to accomplish. Don’t give yours up.

Chloe January 2, 2012 at 11:10 pm

Being a virgin is something you should be PROUD of, not ashamed of. And at twenty-one?! That’s pretty rare, and a great accomplishment! :) Now you can give your spouse and even greater gift, and, on your wedding day, say, “I waited for you.”

As for being lonely, misunderstood, helpless . . . God has a bigger plan for you than what you’re going through. He loves you, and is watching over you always. Have hope, because it ALWAYS gets better . . . it might take weeks, months, years, decades, but God, if you trust in Him and follow His plan, will let it all work out and reward you for your faith! God DOES NOT make the bad things happen to you in your life. He only lets them happen for a reason. And He’s always there to help you through it. Always.

I’m very sorry about your father. Maybe you should try and get help. Think therapy, counseling, etc. Or talk to your local Christian pastor. You’ll be able to get through it!!! Like I said, just have faith, pray, trust in the LORD and you WILL make it! :)

Your life is worth SO much more than you know. You have a purpose that’s SO important! If you struggle with discovering what that is, pick up a copy of THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE by Rick Warren! It’s absolutely AMAZING and it will help you discover or pursue your purpose in life, whatever that is!

I know that there are people that love you immensely . . . We all have a story, our life story, full of grief and burning regret and an looming sadness and invigorating, lasting pain. But that can be overcome. When you’re at rock bottom, in an abyss of pain from this selfish, evil world, just look up . . . through that blurry, murky water, there is a glowing light waiting for you to break through the surface of the water. Just swim up through the darkness, as scary and hard and confusing as it might be . . . Once you reach the surface, as diamonds of light crash all around you, you will be able to feel that blazing sun, kissing you and healing your scars, warming your heart! That’s God. Only He can redeem you, cleanse you, make you new! He’s forgiven you for everything you’ve ever done, everything you WILL do!

He died on the cross for you, for everyone. Was beaten HORRIBLY, lashed at, mocked at, BETRAYED BY HIS TWO CLOSEST FRIENDS, by His own children! Yet He still loves us beyond imagination! He knows EXACTLY what you’re going through. He’s three things NO ONE ELSE IS, NO ONE CAN BE: He is omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent. He loves you . . . so much. :) No matter who hurt you, Christians or not, He — The Almighty God, Jesus Christ, Our LORD — will NEVER hurt you! He will NEVER change! By the Grace of God, we — you — are forgiven!

HE WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT. You should also pick up a copy of The Bible! It’s . . . there are no words to describe its glory, its beauty! It is The Word of God, so raw and beautiful and loving. He knows you. Knows how many hairs you have on your head, knows you by NAME! He will cleanse you . . . just open your mind, body, heart, and soul to him. And the Holy Spirit will envelope you in its blindingly beautiful Light.
Books to check out:
Jesus is perfect. Yet He loves us more than anything, the most imperfect of sinners. Isn’t that enough to call Him into your heart, to reside in your soul, to live for Him until your last ragged breath?

Yes. Yes, it is.

Matthew January 3, 2012 at 8:51 am

I know exactly how you feel….my life was decent until high school, I had a crush on a girl in middle school, throughout the years it grew to a love….I confessed this to her a while ago and she tolde there was no chance at ego and self esteem dropped. I stopped talking to people and eventually rumors started…I lost soapy friends…but the one person that stayed by my side…was the one that I had fallen for…this just intensified the feelings I have for her yet, I’m the only one that feels this way. She’s my everything but I want her to bdore and it hurts so much… Because I know that it’s not going to happen.
I am only 15 years old…middle child of a family of 11 with 9 siblings. I’ve had to lie to them for years, putting on a poker face everyday…. I want help, I need to come clean and tell my family that I’m not the happy kid they all grew up to know.

jain December 20, 2011 at 8:32 am

I find it depressing that I seem to have made no progress in spite of the drugs I am taking (prescribed ones) and the therapy I have worked so hard in. I am trying to improve my state, but the depression and the BPD seem to make my efforts meaningless. I shall take your test at some time in the future, and hope to see that I have made some progress.

Marixa December 22, 2011 at 5:33 am

So I’m just a 14 year old girl. I have a perfect life…I always get in trouble, I moved to Mexico from Arizona, I mean I love Mexico…except when I lived there I was little and that’s were I want to go to school. No one will understand me!! Those few people I told act like they don’t give a f***!!my best friends are always ditching me for new better people. Why am I no good? There is no one I can I feel like I can trust. When I read to try to get life out of my head, my thoughts interupt. I think so much that I can turn anything good that ever happens to me bad. I sometimes want to cry for no reason at all. I love to draw, but forthe past few years i feel like drawing is not for me cuz I draw to bad. I feel like I’m ugly and I’ve actually made stuff to kill myself. People compliment my eyes, all I see is green eyes that can turn gray acording to wat I wear or how far I stand.the gray reprisents me. Xxxxx. I’ve had so much people tell me that I look like the happyest person in the world. How does that work? Everyday I force a smile on my face and laugh. Some moments I get happy for real. But that feeling snaps away so fast that it’s hard to remember happyness at all when I get sad. I’ve been trying not to eat because I feel to damn fat. Sometimes I attemt to kill myself…but I don’t wanna go to hell. But just to die…I would let people be in peace. I feel like I’m the problem in life and people are just to nice to get rid of me. I am just so mad or sad all the time. Every once in a while I get so mad I shake. I’ve been called the worst child by my own mom when she is mad at me. I sometimes stay up til 1 or 2 in the morning thinking about death and how happy people would be with me gone. I wrote like 90 questions down about wat I wish I could ask them. I want to tell people something, but the hell with that, they won’t give a cra*. Why? Cuz on nothing to give a cra* about. No one would feel bad. At age thirteen I got kicked out of my house into our little apartment for ditching church…for the first time. I have red hair…practically orange, who the hell likes fire looking hair???and freckles!!! I hate pics of me and everyone wants me to be who i’m not. I’m a tomboy who hides all feelings and I never let no one see me cry. I might hold in all that, but it doesn’t mean I don’t have feelings that tear me apart inside. I can’t think about anything but ways to hating myself more. Am I depressed?? I always feel trapped and full of holes. I’m not even exited for Christmas. Why is that?? And truth is I’ve cut my theigh once…twice…three times maybe. Is that even normal for depressed people?

me December 27, 2011 at 2:28 am

Remember that God loves you for who you are. It says in the Bible that God made people in his own image, so if people have a problem with the way you are, they need to take it up with god. It also says that you will be judged as you judge! Please don’t hurt yourself, you will one day find someone who loves you for who you are.

meeee December 27, 2011 at 3:00 am

I actually feel the same way and im only 12

Linda December 27, 2011 at 3:33 pm

Marixa, it seems that you’re going thru some tough times. Let me tell you that life does get better. You came to this earth with a purpose, there is something very important that u need to do in this dimension and that is why you are here.
Stop that nonsense of thinking about ending your life, instead find a place around your school or around your house where you can help others less fortunate. You will see how rewarding it feels and it will make you realize that God has given you every tool you need to succeed in life. You sound very pretty. Red hair and green eyes.
Wow! Some people would love to have natural red hair, as you get older you will learn that this is a plus not a minus in the way you look. I am Latin too. And maybe the reason you feel as if your looks are weird is because us Latin people have different complexion and hair colors we vary from brown to brown, I am sure that your purpose in life is a beauty. Please snap out of it, God doesnt make mistakes, you are here on purpose and from what I can tell a very big purpose. Go out and find your purpose in life and when you get to be old and your red hair starts turning grey, you will tell your beautiful grandchildren how you didn’t like your red hair as a child and that was the one thing that their grandfather found so irresistible about you,
I wish you all the best, may God bless you and your family!
lots of blessings!,,

Anna December 28, 2011 at 7:45 am

. I know that life can get hard, and challenging and giving up may be the easiest way to get out of it. But that isn’t true. Dying is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I know things can be tough, I get it. But it doesn’t mean that life is worthless. Im betting that you are a beautiful young girl who just is a little lost and needs a friend. God is here for you. You’d be surprised at all of the miracles he gives a person everday, but it’s our choice to open our eyes and see it . But please Dont give up on youself or on others. God never promised us a pefect life ,Or a problem free year. Please understand that God has a plan for everyone, whether you like it or not you were put on this world for a reason. A reason only he knows of. So goodluck on the adventure we call life, and hold on tight, because as you know it gets bumpy, but there is always a Ray of sunshine on the other side.

Breeze December 29, 2011 at 12:50 pm

I’m 31 and still feel the same way. It is hard to see so many young people feeling this way about themselves and thier lives. Cutting yourself is a way to feel something, to feel alive in some way. The pain is satisfing And leaves a since of peace . It is very hard to go through life with a fake smile. Just remember there is always someone out there that feels the same and although it doesn’t help, your not alone.

phoenix December 30, 2011 at 5:31 am

Hi Marixa,
i knew i wanted to reply as soon as i started reading your story, i want you to know that you are not alone. i know that sounds cheesy but believe me it can feel like no one in the world understands what you are going through, but just because no one in YOUR world understands right now dosn’t mean no one ever will. I guess the best way to do this is for me to reply to each part as i read them. If people don’t give a fuck then they probably shouldn’t be in your life. HOWEVER allow for the fact that not everyone knows how to show that they care. Everyone reacts to things in different ways and while it may seem like people don’t care, they may just not know how to express how they feel. You are not at all no good. I’m sorry there is no one you feel like you can trust right now but no that will not be a permanent thing, i promise that there are people out there who care and even if it takes a long time to find them you will. Have you tried writing things down for yourself, you know you can trust paper. There are also helplines where you can talk to people anonymously who care. Just be careful finding the right ones. You could also maybe try talking to a school counselor or your family. I have the same problem of over thinking everything, the best thing i have found is to get out of your head as best you can. Write, read, dance, sing, play a sport, run, take a shower, clean your room, talk to someone, anything so you are not just sitting and letting your thoughts snowball out of control. Sometimes you have to let yourself cry, even if its for no reason at all. Great you love to draw! thats fantastic! If that is a passion of yours go for it! i don’t care how good or bad you are. get out of your head, do something you love because you love it. Please don’t kill yourself. I can’t control what you do but someday i bet you there will be something you are happy you lived for so why not wait around and see? Green eyes are pretty, but if you don’t think so find stuff you do love about yourself and try to block out all those negative comments. Its often the people who look the happiest that struggle the most, you would be suprised how many people are struggling that you don’t realize. I know its hard but try to open up a little to people, im not saying you have to give them all your trust but how nice would it be to not always have to fake your emotions? If you feel fat not eating is not the answer, nor is it healthy. if you want to loose weight try to do it in a healthy way by altering your eating habits instead of starving yourself and get lots of exercise. You are not a problem in life. You are supposed to be here. You are here for a reason you just have to figure out why. I can’t tell you weather you are depressed or not because i am not a therapist however if you think you are the best thing you can do is to seek treatment so that you can help yourself feel better! Cutting is not uncommon among people with emotional disorders however it is not a healthy or solution to your feelings. I hope you hang in there, and good luck! Much love and know that you are not the only one who feels like this.

Amanda December 30, 2011 at 9:45 pm

You made me shake while reading your words. I am 31 yrs old and can relate to Everything you wrote. I remember being 14 & feeling the same way you do now.I remember feeling like I was the only one I could talk to b/c there was no way anyone else would take me seriously.Or they would think I was crazy and I would be worse! I never reached out.
I have gone thru life with this sickness and it amazes me that I am still around. I wanted to write to tell you uplifting words that might help you to not feel so alone but my own state of depression(or whatever this sickness is) won’t let me come up with anything positive to say. The only thing I know to do is encourage you to reach out for help. This will not get better on it’s own. GOD is a great starting place. Find HIM in prayer. He will keep you safe while you try to figure this out.
I am just now reaching out b/c I can not take the Hopelessness for Breakfast anymore. I dont want to miss out on my 9 yr old daughter’s life. I want to be an involved mom. I want to be excited about My Life so that I can teach her to be excited about her own. Naturally, I married a man with just as many issues(if not more) as myself. I try to help him daily but he knows my own struggles and I think thats why I make little progress with him. Maybe he thinks this is normal cause his wife is like this.
Please try to help yourself. There are so many blessings we overlook b/c of our illness and I hate to think of another waswted life b/c you are afraid to talk to someone.
Good Luck in life. DON’T GIVE UP

Y should u care? December 31, 2011 at 3:30 am

Me and you have almost the same story in certain parts… Everyone insults me and calls me ugly… I’ve never cut myself or tried to kill myself but it has crossed my mind… Being a kid and growing up is REALLY hard and nobody understands..

Ian January 1, 2012 at 7:53 am

I would be sad if you died. I suffered through pretty much the same thing. Just keep fighting why to spit in the face of whoever says you a bad person to get up dust your self and scream to the world I an a good person I deserve happiness I will find it because no one deserves depression but for some reason some people get it. For all you have to know is that you know your a good person and that’s all that matters. But please don’t commit suicide I honestly feel hmm I guess the best way to describe it is heartbreak whenever I hear about someone commuting suicide. Knowing I was right their myself once. Knowing how it feels. I would care. I
would miss you.

PaIgE January 3, 2012 at 3:50 am

everything you said basically described me.. i am 16 years old and been going through depression for 3 years now. i have red hair and freckles. i hate my hair and face. no one knows bout the way i feel cause they wont understand unless they gone through it. i have a perfect life but i dont want it. i also wonder what people’s life would be like without me in it. i used to cut my arms. depression is so hard. it comes and goes now but when it comes its hard to face alone. i read alot of stuff to help me and the best way is to get a journal and just write it helped me alot to get out the feeling of being alone empty and worthless.. and just pray i dont know what religion you are but praying and doing a daily devotion helped me some.

Robert December 27, 2011 at 2:38 am

I don’t know where to start. Nothings important to me. Not even christmas it was just another day to me. Me and my parents argue all the time and yet they say we don’t but then I don’t even feel like bickering. I honestly don’t want to do anything. It’s not laziness its just id rather lay down and think who really cares if I died, I don’t even care

Alexis December 27, 2011 at 3:11 am

Dear Robert or anyone one else out there. You are important! God Put you on this world for a reason. You should try volunteering at places maybe because that might make you feel better about yourself! Good luck to you!
- Alexis

me December 28, 2011 at 6:16 am

i feel almost the same exact way its just i dont know if i want to die yet but i thought of it. but that is the only difference, its even the same thing with my parents

Ash December 27, 2011 at 4:58 am

Im 22 years old sometimes I feel hopeless I can’t ever do anything right
. I can’t make anyone happy. Especially the people I love. I always seem to make them mad. I’m the one to blame for everything. I thought I had a purpose on this earth to make my husband happy n my daughters but I can’t even do that. I think about taking my life most of the time but for some reason I can never go trew w it. Idk what’s wrong w me.

melissa pierce December 27, 2011 at 6:17 am

Life is like a bad roller coaster gone horribly wrong, only thing I can do is ride it,there is no getting off. Oh well I guess I have to endure it and make the best of it.

Morgan December 27, 2011 at 12:08 pm

My name is Morgan i am 12 years old and ever since my parents divorced ive been depressed. My mother was the best mom ever until she became a current drug addict and left me it would be months if she called me, or if she would call me at all. My dad is the same way. How my mom got on pills is when she meat her current ex boyfriend that was on cocain im not sure how to spell that but anyways he got her on drugs and all she cared about was her and her pills. Then finally my grandma took me away from her and accepted me. My father has really been this way since ive been born. Ive never really had my parents there for me. Its been all on my grandma. Ive gained so much weight from being depressed i weight 150 pounds and im 5 foot i turn to food for everything. Living with my Grandma is also not the best thing either. She also makes fun of my weight and tells me how fat i am. And tells me how ugly i am. I want to be skinny but i cant do it. As of right now i believe my mom is doing better she doesnt get high as much as she used to. She drinks a lot more now. I have been staying with her a lot more too! Things are starting to finally look up after 4 years of pain and hurt. My dad is the same but he is going to rehab for 3 months in rehab. I really hop he gets better. I see him a lot more now. I just dont now why im still depressed though like it a piece of gum stuck on a shoe it wont go away somehow i always find myself crying over nothing. I just wish i could have my family and my old life back.
Take care
Charlsten, WV

Taylor December 28, 2011 at 7:06 am

I’m 12 and I’m depressed to. I know how you fell. My parents are divorced and no matter how much I love my mom shes just never there. Don’t worry, family doesn’t matter when you get older.

Fell better,

Charlotte. December 30, 2011 at 1:19 pm

omg. my parents are divorced im 12 and my storry is exactly the same! i got severe depression. fml talk to me if you want….

king December 27, 2011 at 8:40 pm

i feel like da ugliest fatest sloppiest thing walking

April December 28, 2011 at 2:08 am

I know poeple come on here to say how they feel, but my depression won’t even let me do that. I can’t even talk to my own husband or by best friend which is my sister, because I know that all they are going to say is, “snap out of it, you got kids to care of.” but they just don’t understand that I can’t just snap out of it. It don’t work that way. And stating what I already know doesn’t help, it just makes it worse. I just wish I had someone who understands what I’m going through, and not a damn doctor, they just judge then put you on meds that don’t work.

Cathy December 28, 2011 at 8:57 am

I agree. doctors jus go on and on talking in all these medical terms when what we really need is someone to really listen and genuinely care. believe it or not i understand exactly how you feel. the meds dint work wit me too so i jus gave up on em. Its a sad reality but jus read all the comments people have put up. You should know you’re not alone. I know to some extent, reading what other people feel has made me feel like im not alone for the very first time. I hope you find a way to deal with your emotions and cope. I know that i still hold on to the hope of me getting through it someday too.

sat December 31, 2011 at 6:58 am

I feel the same as you and I’m 33. Your friends leave because you see things differently, its not a bad thing. I think of it as a positive trait, since you are able to express what you feel rather than keep it bottled up.

Koryn December 28, 2011 at 4:16 am

I am 13 years old and I just don’t think I’m worth anything anymore. My best and only friend was depressed and I have put as much effort as i could in making her happy again. I boy named Devin has now come into my friend’s life. He is 20 and she is 13. They fell in love with each other and now she’s happier than she’s been in 6 years! I now know that that 6 yrs worth of trying to make her happy was shit to her! In the time of trying to make her happy I began to forget about myself. I havnt been eating to well and Ill sleep all day one day and the next not at all. I hurt myself everyday without knowing. I just don’t have any emotions and I now realized I’m in worse condition than I’ve ever been. I just wanna die but I want myself to suffer! To drown in the pain of living! I want help but I know I need to be in worse condition for people to care or even notice. So I’ll just drown in the pain of my life.

Hope December 28, 2011 at 7:57 am

You have so much ahead of you, that it would be silly to end such a beautiful life. I understand. But what’s not ok is to let yourself slip away and start losing yourself. I, myself have had multiple struggles with guilt that led to depression. But as I have learned, hurting yourself can’t help anything. It will only make you feel worse beacuase you then crave the numb feeling. Imagine this*a flower blowing in the wind, fighting the cold of winter, until it finally falls over, but it comes back to life in the spring. Such wonderfulness. Each flower would be missed in a patch of daisies, because the flower was apart of something bigger than itself. It was apart of life. I wish you the best of years to come, and remember that God is only one prayer away from helping.

me December 28, 2011 at 6:10 am

im only 12 and i got such a bad score this is relly bad. i dont know what i can do. i want this to go away but i dont want to tell anyone about this. i only told 2 of my friends and they swore that they wouldnt tell anyone. im only posting a usless comment because i want to get this off my mind without telling anyone. i think that this is really crazy. this is relly sadening how bad my score was it shouldnt be this way i just cant take anything anymore at all

John December 29, 2011 at 7:58 am

When I was 12 which wasn’t that long ago i felt the same way. I went through a similar thing I am now. Just felt like I wasn’t important and I can’t say theres light at the end of my tunnel but if it passed before hopefully it will pass again.

Leah December 28, 2011 at 6:48 am

I just need to know if this is normal. And please, don’t tell me that I deserve to be here and that God put me on this planet for a reason, because I am not in any way religious. Please, someone tell me if what I’m feeling is natural for a 17 year old girl.

I’ve always been overly-sensitive and get angry and sad over the smallest things. I also have a very low self-esteem and do a lot of pointless self-loathing. I can be pretty irritable, but I’ve felt irritable every single day more recently. I don’t feel sad as much as I feel hollow and empty, like a zombie, but I’m also sad a lot. I actually don’t get angry at others a lot, and when I do, I feel awful afterward (causing the self-loathing, of course). I blame myself for a lot of things. I believe I am just taking up space, and that everyone would be better off if I’d never existed. In a perfect world, I would die and no one would care, but I know that’s not realistic.

On one day when I didn’t want to do anything and I was very upset, my mom noticed and asked me what was wrong. I told her everything, including the fact that I was thinking about killing myself. I downplayed it, though, saying I’d “never actually do it.” I’d actually wanted to overdose for about a month, but after my mom freaked out, I told her I wouldn’t do anything. I’d never kill myself now, but I still want to, and my feelings haven’t changed. Is this just a phase? I feel like seeing a professional wouldn’t help, like my case is incurable. Should I still see someone or just deal with it, since I’m not hurting myself or others? And lastly, are these feelings normal for a girl my age?

John December 29, 2011 at 7:56 am

I don’t know about a 17 year old girl but Im a 17 year old guy and feel the same. I haven’t told anyone that I hate myself but I definitely feel hallow, and hate myself when I get angry. Last week I attempted to overdose on alcohol but apparently I didn’t drink enough because I’m still here. I have two nephews and a niece that are the only thing I cherish in this world and they’re what keep me from trying to kill myself again. All we can do is hope this is a passing phase I guess and live with what we have for now. Best of luck

ilse December 29, 2011 at 11:36 am

Hi Leah
I came across this webpage while I was searching for some information i need for an assignment I am busy with….I am 47 and studying – can you believe it? Anyway I have a son who is 18 and I just want to let you know that you are not alone in how you are feeling….Every single one of us go through those stages in life….it’s all part of life. It’s all hormonal really…’s just that our bodies are going through all kinds of changes all the time – especially us women. Go visit your doctor and chat to him/her about your feelings and what you are struggling with. It may just be a hormonal imbalance and you could get some medication to help you through or even homeopathic goodies….. In the mean time it would be good to contact a “life coach” or just someone you can talk to about stuff….An older aunt or teacher or someone who has some life experience that you trust….
I have found with my son and his friends, that most young people just want someone to talk to. Someone who would listen and NOT judge.

Wishing you all the best, ilse (Cape Town, South Africa)

phoenix December 30, 2011 at 5:40 am

I don’t know about “normal” as far as i’m concerned there really isn’t such a thing, however those feelings certainly aren’t uncommon. Weather you see someone is up to you however if this isn’t going away the best thing you can do is get help in some form. here are just some of the options if you want help
Talking to a friend/family member/teacher – talking to someone you trust can be extremely beneficial, both to have someone listen who cares and also they may be able to help you find more sources of help.
Psychologists/Social workers – If you are not necessarily looking for meds but more someone to help and listen who is a professional seeing one of these kinds of therapists may be beneficial (they also have a confidentiality policy)
Psychiatrist – they can act both as a therapist and as someone to prescribe meds
Helplines – online or phone helplines can be great you just have to be careful which ones you use. they are anonymous and if you find a good one they often have helpful things to say just remember they aren’t professionals
there are of course many other options but the worst thing you can do is keep everything to yourself and try to deal with it all on your own. that will only hurt you emotionally, mentally, and maybe even physically and probably will not be enough to help you feel completely “better”

Conner December 30, 2011 at 7:06 pm

Leah, I read your post and I decided that I needed to reply because your current state sounds almost identical to mine. Everyday I too feel like I am just worthless and that everyone’s life would be better if I was just gone, and that no one would care if I were to die. See, as far back as I can remember, I’ve been depressed. But about 9 months ago I found a girl that I truly fell in love with. She is amazing and beautiful, or so I thought while we were together. But after about 7 months she broke up with me out of the blue and said she needed time. As soon as she sent me the text saying she didn’t want to be together anymore I had a breakdown of tears and anger at myself. About a week after she broke up with me, I seen her driving some other guy around and she told me that they were talking. I was heartbroken and that night I got drunk to try and ease the pain, but that was a dumb idea because it didn’t help at all of course. But still to this day were apart and it hurts seeing her at school and everything. It seems like when we were together I was the happiest person in the world,must now I’m back to being the crazily depressed person I was before. Anyways I just wanted to let you know that I feel the pain your feeling. I feel hopeless and meaningless and like I always fuck everything up. Everyday i think of killing myself,and I hate living this way. We just have to try and stay strong even though it seems hopeless. My heart feels for you, and everyone who feels this same way. Take care Leah.

no1important December 28, 2011 at 6:59 am

I need help. My life has been hard enough and I can never take it. I think about suicide everyday. That’s not why I need help though. My cousin is 9 years old and is going through the same thing. SHE needs help. Please, what can I do.

kelly December 30, 2011 at 7:23 am

All u can do is be there and tell them they arent alone. I have been through this alot just be there and listen. But if u think they will really hurt themselves u should tell someone. Im in no place to judge but be there. Im 17 and ive cut took over 20 pills and its not goodd. Be there and help. Tell them to talk to a teacher theyreally trust thats what i do when i feel bad. My teacher ent through the same thing im going through thats what u want to find. Of course my teacher told my class and is open about what happened but still. If u cant find someoone u can just post here and i will try to help. I’m a good listener and i barley ever sleep so im up all the time.. i will checkevery day to see if u oor anyoone that reads this needs help. Just post kelly can u help me. So i know u want my help. Just stay strong. I push i feel like all of u buut i look forward to seeing my favortive teacher. Hhe is like a dad or best friiend who has alot of knoowledge qnd i will help just like he helps me. Stay strong!!!!

Moshi December 28, 2011 at 7:18 am

well hello there :)
right now i feel fine i dont know, my waves of depression just come and go. I feel completely normal when im at school with friends but when i come home, my whole world turns upside down and my mom starts yelling at me for things i was supposed to do but never did, then my dad comes and he starts acting like the wisest person in the world when i know he doesnt know shit about some things he says. then there is school, i have to worry about my grades and get all my homework done, i have gotten a 76 and a 70 in 1 of my classes on my previous report card and i dont know what i will do after i show it to my parents. my parents and my sister seem to make things worse for me. they are always on top of me watching me and i feel that if i just take one step out of line i will get yelled at and get lectured all over again. i feel as if im not needed in this family and world. my mother yells at me my father is watching every step i take, my sister is always lecturing me and i feel like crying but i dont like crying in front of people. but when i go to my room i cant cry anymore and i feel so so empty and my heart hurts. i read and now i understand why i like reading so much; it’s because it drowns out the problems i have, if only for a small moment i feel as if all that matters is the story im reading and nothing else. but then BAM!!

Moshi December 28, 2011 at 7:19 am

reality hits you in the face…:’( pretty hard

Moshi December 28, 2011 at 7:21 am

well hello there :)
right now i feel fine i dont know, my waves of depression just come and go. I feel completely normal when im at school with friends but when i come home, my whole world turns upside down and my mom starts yelling at me for things i was supposed to do but never did, then my dad comes and he starts acting like the wisest person in the world when i know he doesnt know shit about some things he says. then there is school, i have to worry about my grades and get all my homework done, i have gotten a 76 and a 70 in 1 of my classes on my previous report card and i dont know what i will do after i show it to my parents. my parents and my sister seem to make things worse for me. they are always on top of me watching me and i feel that if i just take one step out of line i will get yelled at and get lectured all over again. i feel as if im not needed in this family and world. my mother yells at me my father is watching every step i take, my sister is always lecturing me and i feel like crying but i dont like crying in front of people. but when i go to my room i cant cry anymore and i feel so so empty and my heart hurts. i read and now i understand why i like reading so much; it’s because it drowns out the problems i have, if only for a small moment i feel as if all that matters is the story im reading and nothing else. but then BAM!! reality hits you in the face… :’( pretty hard…. i have tried meditating i have tried out hobbies but i feel as if im still empty inside… suicide is Never far from my mind

Moshi December 28, 2011 at 7:22 am

well hello there :)
right now i feel fine i dont know, my waves of depression just come and go. I feel completely normal when im at school with friends but when i come home, my whole world turns upside down and my mom starts yelling at me for things i was supposed to do but never did, then my dad comes and he starts acting like the wisest person in the world when i know he doesnt know shit about some things he says. then there is school, i have to worry about my grades and get all my homework done, i have gotten a 76 and a 70 in 1 of my classes on my previous report card and i dont know what i will do after i show it to my parents.i am drowning in stress and pressure and its eating away my life. my parents and my sister seem to make things worse for me. they are always on top of me watching me and i feel that if i just take one step out of line i will get yelled at and get lectured all over again. i feel as if im not needed in this family and world. my mother yells at me my father is watching every step i take, my sister is always lecturing me and i feel like crying but i dont like crying in front of people. but when i go to my room i cant cry anymore and i feel so so empty and my heart hurts. i read and now i understand why i like reading so much; it’s because it drowns out the problems i have, if only for a small moment i feel as if all that matters is the story im reading and nothing else. but then BAM!! reality hits you in the face… :’( pretty hard…. i have tried meditating i have tried out hobbies but i feel as if im still empty inside… suicide is Never far from my mind

Robert December 28, 2011 at 7:52 am

I am 15 years old. I am an average kid. I am not anything special. People tell me that Im funny but all the jokes and smiles I put up are disguises. I was talking to my ex girlfriend, who Im on good terms with, and I started liking her again…she told me she liked me too and toyed with my feelings. I went to the mall today with her and the only thought I could think about was “she toyed with me”. I set her up with my best friend the year before and totally fuc*ked up both of them in the process. I have apologized several times and they have told me it’s not my fault but the actuality of it is that it is. I have been single for 2 1/2 years now which may not seem very important considering I’m only 15 but the pain is so bad for me that I dont remember 8th grade. I have written suicide notes, I’ve cut myself, and even considered running away. No one can comfort me. Not my best friend, not my ex girlfriend, not my pastor , not God. I promise that the only reason why Im still here is because Im afraid my Mom will be devestated. My parents love me and I love them too but is it too much to ask for somone besides my family to love me? Advice would be appreciated.

Anonymous December 28, 2011 at 8:32 am

About 2 years ago I was one of the happiest people I knew, I was an average person. I talked to everyone in my school, I was never shy, I told jokes and made people laugh and a lot of people liked me, but for some reason people started hating me. My hair got long and I wore skinny jeans and “emo” (as people call it) clothes, but i was still the same person. People started avoiding me, or calling me Fag or Emo, just because i dressed different from them. So (I was 14 btw) I started changing myself, I sat at the back of the class away from everyone and stopped talking to people, not because “I’m a mad emo kid”, but I was scared of people always giving me stares and making fun of me for what I look like. My freshman year was terrible. I was a complete outcast and No one wanted anything to do with me. I had a few friends, but there was one guy named Garrett that I became absolute bestfriends with, we started spending every weekend together. I realized that I had an alright life i guess, I had cool possessions like games and computers, but I never smiled anymore. I realized that what i want, is basically like a fantasy, and I’ll never get to live life how i want. That’s when I fell into real depression, I don’t talk to anyone because I’m tired of being judged as it is. Anyways, I finished freshman year, hung out all summer with Garrett, went on two vacations with him. We started sophomore year this year, everything was the same, I was avoided, but stuck with Garrett. I’m nearly 5″11 and 120 lbs so I’m pretty skinny, Garrett though was a big guy, about a month into school someone wanted to fight me, but Garrett had my back. On November 3, my mom picked me up from school, and told me that Garrett had shot and killed himself. It was accidental. And that’s were i am today. Im alone again, i have a gf, but she doesn’t even make me happy. I can’t talk to anyone, everynight i just sit by myself and just cry. I’m 16, I have a nice car, a gf, a gaming setup… But I have nothing

kelly December 30, 2011 at 7:34 am

Im sorry to hear that its hard to losse someone like thst. Last summer i lived with my grabdpa and slowly watched him died. Day in and day out it happens. Its nott the same but no matter what happened my grandpa was there for me. Never gave up on me even though everyone else did. Its hard i loved my grandpa the most out of my family abd thasvwhy i do this tovhelp others. After my grandpa i tried to die. I was the only one whovdidnt cry at my grabdpas wake or funerl. Ppl thought i was sick but he told me he didnt wabt ppl to be sad for him he wanted us happy and smiling that didnt happen. When they put him in the ground i broke out in tears and fell to the ground i didnt move. I stayed there all day until the cemerty closed. Now a year later i sit awaake abd wait for a goodnight call and i dont tell anyone that. I never gave up. Its hard but one i have faith tha it will get better. Just keep hope.

Cathy December 28, 2011 at 8:50 am

I guess denial is what i feel. I know all the symptoms say this is what i feel but I always choose to ignore it and hope that i get better. Ive heard it from doctors, seen it from online tests, read it from books but still I jus ignore it nd hope it gets better. But truth is, it doesnt get any better. I try to smile, but im not happy. I can be surrounded by lots of people yet I feel so alone. I sleep the whole day and never want to get out of bed coz I can’t help but feel like there’s nothing out there for me. This is jus insane. I used to be this cheerful, active, extremely talkative girl. I never ever thought I could ever be the quiet girl in the crowd coz i always stood out. where did my happiness go? Where did the real me go? I don’t feel all suicidal because i respect and value life but there are times when I do think about when i might die or what is my purpose. Suicide is something i can never do though.I love my family too much. But my future still seems dark and dim. I have no sense of direction and everyday is just a routine. They say depressed people need help. I honestly dont know what kinda help can make these feelings go away. This is beyond me. Im trapped in the depth and darkness of my own emotions. I just hope I can get through this somehow. I jus pray that I do.

anonomus December 30, 2011 at 2:27 am

if oyu get trapped, dont worry, i’ll be there too

Cathy December 30, 2011 at 1:39 pm


Jessie December 28, 2011 at 9:44 am

Hi my name is Jessie,
what im about to say is very important because i understand how you are feeling and im suriving one day at a time but im still here and breathing which is important.
I know how life sucks its been like that for years i have never done drugs, i dont drink and Im 25 still virgin (which doesnt bother me). i have a learning disability, i suffer with dislexsia and asburges, i was bullied throughout high school and i have been suffering with severe depression and i have very high risk of bipolar since i was 13,and the only reason why i’m still alive is because of my family not intervining but because i think if i kill myself who would find me and stuff like that. i’m alive because i cant cause pain to my family which in it self is a good thing most of the time. i have a moto which is another reason why i havent killed myself “giving up is letting everyone that said you are worthless, unimportant, and other stuff like that WIN! and that is not an option” this life is hard if it was easy their would be nothing wrong with this world, but it is and don’t listen to people who tell you theres nothing wrong, your being pathic and stuff like that because most likely they have never felt the way you do. but killing yourself is not the answer and it never will be
every day will be hard and everyday you are survining and everyday there will be something good (hopefully) all you have to do is fight for your place in this life
Im fighting and one day wither its any day now or in 10 or 50 years i m going to have a happy life
you need help and trust me asking for help will set you on a new life path it might take some time, it will be a rollercoaster, you will have good and bad days, you might take 1 step and go back 3 steps but your life is just as special and important as everyone else and believe me you are worth it all you need to do is ask for help.

Maggot December 28, 2011 at 4:29 pm

Im 17 years old, im goin through tough times i broke up with my ex and life has spiarled down for months .i have no trust in people and i feel so emotionless at times. good memories have faded away with the bad and thats all i remember now.i cant sleep some nights cuz they haunt me so much.ive tried to free my self from it but it seems like no matter what i try it gets worst.ive tried to move on from my ex but nothing as usual.ive tried so hard to fix things but it never works.ive attempted suicide 3 times.i only find peace when i sing, write or listen to Metal music.only few people has helped me and they all say the same “god is with u” the problem with that is im atheist so i could careless bout god.i feel like a burden to everyone and people dont like me. i have a pure hatred on life and people.ive been made fun of because of my appreance, religous beliefs and my music.its gottin to the point where i feel nothing when insulted cuz ive heard it all b4.And now a days i feel virtually nothing.And i hate it!

XxCuredXx December 28, 2011 at 10:28 pm

If u do have probs,u can contact me.i have escaped the light.Thing is most of what your feeling is a overlay.Never think that your wOrthless.Your better off not thinking at all. The way how to think about this is pretty simple. If you want to escape just escape.usally,you’ll have your happy place where you can do whatever you want. For example,my happy place would be a field,a place with light.Everything in this world is feelings. As long as you can assess it through your mind,it’s an easy way to happiness.Sometimes depression music does help.brain wave music with voice is good too.LET THE LIGHT Shine.i wish you the best of luck.

Deepthinker December 29, 2011 at 12:49 am

I am 18. I have survived psychosis and all it brings, along with methods of coping with depression. I was hospitalised for self poisening. I was confused and scared. Had paedophilic teacher. I was his favourite. My friend died in a car crash 4 months ago and my other close friend miraculously escaped death after icu and prayers! :) i used to see no way out. I am tired yes and on these tests always seem to score severe depression even when happy- but i have hope and happiness in small things and a bright future ahead of me :) most of my family have some form of cancer. A relative of mine committed suicide in the summer,
…. SO- you can count up all the bad things going on (this inly scratches the surface!!) but how will you find comfort?? Below is something i wrote after 6 years of experience and processing… And im still learning- but i have peace. :) i hope you people find comfort- its out there, trust me…
It figures that when you feel so bad that nothing seems to be going right, despite the fact some things are, you should be relieved that youre not the step below that- youre not so bad that you hold on to and relish every ounce of happiness and good news for as long as you possibly can because theres nothing else keeping you going. And for those who are at that stage- be grateful for those moments and thankful for the gift of no longer being ignorant to the smaller blessings in life, which, in the grand sceme of things, are the ones that save lives…

Alex December 29, 2011 at 1:41 am

No words to express this black whole feeling inside of me, every turn i make, every decision i make, every person i meet and every relationship that i try to establish is a failure, i am haunted every day by the thoughts and decisions i have made, i have never had a girlfriend in my life, just turn 25 and have no plan for my future, all my wishes that were about finishing college, graduation, and a future feels like never existed.. I moved to LA on 02/2011 to start a new life of course that went straight to hell, came back in 11/11 for the holidays only to find out my parents home empty with life, they divorced and know i am here all alone with my dog, the fuck did i do wrong? It is karma, is it that i indeed have no future before me, rather only problems behind me that for some reason get on the fastrack lane and again end up in front of me… Sometimes i feel it would be better to live like the ones that are six feet under…… IN PEACE, because that is exactly what i have failed to find in this life.

Liam December 29, 2011 at 5:27 am

I’m useless….I can’t do anything, I’m so so lonely.

Cassie December 29, 2011 at 6:53 am

I got a 64 and I talked to my mom but I couldn’t bring myself to say I was feeling depressed. I may talk to her tommorow about it….

John December 29, 2011 at 7:42 am

I’m 17 and the youngest of four in my family and feel like the biggest failure. I graduated early and attended my first college semester but lost my scholarship because I was sick of trying and now have no money to go back. No matter how I try to get the approval of my parents nothing works and when I fail it just gets worse and worse. I feel that I had so much potential but never will live up to it now. No one would care if I’m gone I am no one and I never will be anyone. The only thing keeping me is the hope that if I at least live right there is some place better afterwards.

Meghan December 29, 2011 at 2:26 pm

my name is meghan. Im 17. I scored a 68. Im not too sure wat this means. But I feel like I need to let my story out since no one in my life listens.

Ive been battling suicidal thought since my freshmen year of high school, 2008.march of 2008 I decided to try jumping off a bridge that went over a 75 foot waterfall, only to be stopped by my friend. She jumped in after me and pulled me to the side. I spent a few
weeks at her house cuz she didnt want me out of her sight. For the first time it felt like someone cared

then in august of 2008. I was going to try again. But as you can tell that didnt work. After a soccer tryout instead of walking home. I walked imto the woods. I already had a rope in my sports bag.i walked quite a ways then broke down and started crying. I couldnt control myself I was screaming. Kicked stuff. Once I got it all together I tied a rope to a tree and put the noose around my neck. then I heard someone crying “meg, please dont do this. Whats going on. Talk to me!” it was 2 teammates casey and olivia.i could respond so I stepped off the log . I saw them running towards me. Then it went black. Next ting I knew I was in a hospital.
The first 2 weeks I was there I wasnt allowed visitors, and not being able to talk to anyone made me want to off myself even more. But then my freinds casey and olivia came to see me. They talked to me zabout y they brought me to the hospital and stuff like that. And im glad they did. I got the right help I needed and the suicidal thoughtsstopped. Then I stoppd going to therapy and I did turn to using drugs, alcohol, cutting, burning, bruisimg, anything to stop the pain that was inside. And thats wen I statrted to get hlabeled. An emo. I dnt look like to type to be emo. I dnt wear all black a wear athletic jerseys and blue jeans. But all it took,was 1 girl to see 1 scare andthe whole school kn fr w

Laurel. December 29, 2011 at 4:00 pm

having scored 72 wasn’t a big shock. I’m 13, I don’t understand why I always feel this empty void in me. I feel hollow and broken inside. I’m too young to feel like this. I have good, very good grades but I see no future for me. My grades are slipping and I couldn’t care less. Too bad my dad does. He is a mental abuser, he doesn’t hit but he uses his words to break you. When everyone thinks of break they think of parties and friends, too bad I think of laying in bed, hoping I die. I shouldn’t. But I do, I can’t help it either. If I told anyone I know in real life, they’d say I’m seeking attention, but I’m not. I just want help. Someone told me I should google “African Children” then be thankful for your life. I’m sorry but, GIVE THEM MY LIFE. I don’t want it. Honestly. Im a prisoner of my own mind. I want out of this..

Annie December 29, 2011 at 8:20 pm

:( “I’m a prisoner of my own mind”. What a perfect description of me.

Daniel December 30, 2011 at 3:16 am

Your story is exactly like mine. I know how you feel.

Dennis January 1, 2012 at 9:42 am

we are almost the same. I have no one to talk about this i have wrote suicidal notes but i have never tried to suicide im 14 btw my family wont understand ive been using fake smiles about 3 years now and i have diabetes and about 2 more sickness that makes it worst. My dad and my mom keep talking about god and religious thinks which i dont believe at all… I know everybody hates me because ive heard my mom,dad,sister,and brother saying it. I know my friends also do. Im really good at 3 things drawing,gaming, technology it helps me escape sometimes. One day a “friend” ask me for help in her ipod so i took it home and she was always really happy but as i checl her ipod i found about 10 page long of pure dark sadness so i respond back about with my life and how i also hate it. The next day she restarted her ipod and my message was deleted. I will never find help does not matter how much i try. Life of people arround will br so much better without me i hope i day soon i die…

Tita December 29, 2011 at 4:09 pm

I got a 35. Well, it’s better than my last 55. :p Honestly I don’t think I’m that depressed, I was just curious so I decided to take this test.

Anita December 29, 2011 at 5:43 pm

Gosh I guess this test says it all I got a 54 and I am only 16 years old. And I hate life .. I hope we all get out of this depression stage ..

kelly December 30, 2011 at 8:02 am

i took this test again and it didnt change i still have a 90 im probably the only on that has a 90 on this. That means i am not doing well. I put a fake smile and my riend is in jail. My lif suckss and i lays have a fake smile onmy face. So stay strong. I am ad i have major probelms im the same as everyone. We all have problems e need to be there for each other. I care i always do. I may not know u but after reading the stories i feel like i know u. Just help eachother give words to help. Encourage them. Ive lost my boyfriend best friend and only good friend all at once. I hate it but i need to be strong for family that make me mad and upset. Life sucks but well make it through with faith and god. Sorry to thse u dont beliece thats the way i was raised. But ivwonder if he excests. Why does he let us go through this if he loves us? I justt ont get it. Someone please tell me.

Annie December 29, 2011 at 8:18 pm

Sometimes, when I feel frustrated and depressed, it helps to scream into my pillow and say loudly in my mind: I DON’T CARE!

melissa December 29, 2011 at 10:56 pm

You know I have made it through life with all of its ups and downs, now I am struggling since my 35 year old daughter died. I feel guilty, sad, hopeless and dead inside. I am trying to always put my best foot forward and find that glimmer of hope. I feel like life is a chore and I am very tired. I keep holding on waiting for that little spark to happen so I begin to live again. I have lost numerous relatives in my life, but my wonderful daughter was my best friend, the one person in the world who never judged me and who laughed with me at the craziest things. I lost not only a daughter but an inspirational and safe person. I feel lost a lot, i have tried to get close to other people, but it just doesn’t work. my other children and I are close, but my daughter and I had something special. I miss her very much.

robin December 30, 2011 at 2:08 am

your daughter will always be with you (i know this sounds cliche)
but as long as you treasure her and remember her, she will always hold a special place in your heart, she isnt gone, you just dont see her yet….keep holding on

robin December 30, 2011 at 2:05 am

all the people i love, i have given my trust to them, only for it to be destroyed. my family and friends have hurt me severely in one way or another…
especially my father
i get the brunt of parent’s divorce, im the middlemen, all the crap that goes to and from my mom and my dad goesthrough me
im constantly being accused of being a snitch
my dad told me (and i quote) “you’re not my daughter anymore!!!”
my mom dosent understand me
i have nobody to talk to.
its that moment when im all alone in my room, and i burst out into tears and wonder why nobody truly knows how un happy i am…
then i realize…i dont want anybody to know.
my life is worthless.. my very being is taking up space that somebody else could have
i have no special abilities’
im not attractive
and i spend restless nights dreaming of heaven,
dreaming of running away
and dreaming of me having the courage to let somebody else that actually matters come into a world without me

SincerelyConfused December 30, 2011 at 4:39 am

Okay. So I’m 17 years old, scored a 75. Apparently I’m severely depressed. That would make sense. Honestly, I feel like sh*t all the time. I don’t swear but that’s literally how I feel. I have lost like all motivation to do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE. I often find myself thinking up ways that I could kill myself. I think the only thing that is really stopping me from following through with it is my family.. My poor mom. A few years ago I lost my big brother. I think that is really what started it. I think the fact that he was 16 when he passed and I am now 17 is really hard. I don’t like that I grew older than my BIG brother. I have felt depressed since the day of his accident, but since my last birthday it has severely increased. He wast best friend and I’m still struggling to lived life without him. I don’t know what to do. I can honestly say I don’t want to live my life. I can’t see myself with a future.. Growing up.. It’s just not something that seems real. That sounds do selfish. But it is true. My grades suck sooo bad.. Tennis is going down the drain.. I have like no where to go.. My life has no direction. As of now.. I am only living for my mother and my little brother.

Dustin December 30, 2011 at 6:20 am

I have felt like pure crap for a year now. I just want to curl up in a ball and die. I hate hearing myself talk like this, but it’s the truth. There is no will power to do anything anymore. I have no reason to feel this way other than guilt from all of the negative i did in college. I scored a 68. My parents know I’m depressed, but see how I act in front of my friends and see a difference. It’s just a fake smile and laugh with my friends. My parents think I hate them because I can’t hold a conversation. I am just so depressed that I don’t feel like talking. I can’t stand to be asked questions. I feel like cussing, but I could never go that far with them. Tired all the time, but can’t seem to go to sleep until late, or early. I’ve just recently been having thoughts of dying. I’m 24 and just recently graduated college a year ago. I drank all 4 1/2 years. I’ve been sober for almost 4 months now. Yay me right? All I really want to do is just get wasted and pass out….for good. I pray that I can find the faith I once had, the life I once had, the energy I once had, the love I once had…but I can’t find the light at the end of the tunnel. All I see is a never ending tunnel of darkness. I hope I find that light soon, before it’s too late. I don’t want to leave. Good luck to all! Just try to believe it will get better! …as will I!

John doe December 30, 2011 at 6:27 am

i dont get it…everyone is going to die sooner or later and everyone around me is pretty sure that there is a heaven where you go and live on happy and hunky pretty sure its nothing but a dark empty void no thoughts occuring, no feelings and no hope. so im stuck here with a mask of happiness and religion and a bottle or joint under my nose, constantly thinking about this.

Jessica December 30, 2011 at 7:53 am

Hello, I am 19 years old. I am writing to all the teenagers on here who feel extremely depressed. I am a very happy person who loves life and who is always smiling. But I wasn’t always this way. I too was depressed and hated going about some days. My best part of my days were when I was sleeping because everything in my life would disappear until i would open my eyes again the next day. My parents divorced when I was ten years old because my dad cheated on my mom while my little brother was in the hospital dying (he lived). After they divorced I grew apart from my dad; he chose his new wife and alcohol over me and my brothers which was and still is very painful. My mom turned to drugs to try and get through her depression. She started off with pills like Vicodin which lead to oxy cotton and herion. everyday was a fight with my mom. I loved her so much and was so afraid of her getting hurt so I would try and go everywhere with her involving myself in the situations she was put in. I thought as long as I was there nothing bad could happen. I would go on her “drug runs” with her, she would would send me up to her drug dealers house to get the drugs for her. I always thought it was better for me to do it so she wouldn’t have to go inside. I was even there once when a guys came up and asked if she would like to have sex for drugs. All she had to say to him was i’m with my daughter. The way she said it and the look she had in her eyes were regret that I was with her and to this day I think she would have gone trough with it if I wasn’t with. A few years later about my freshman year in high school she over dosed on herion. She went into a coma for a little over a week and when she came out of it she wasn’t right for the first week or so, She was seeing things that were’t there and kept flashing back to her childhood. After that we went to live with my dad while she moved to florida with a boyfriend. My mom jumped from man to man and we were living with a new man about every 6 months. She had to be supported by one or she wouldn’t be able to keep a house. Every guy she was with was on drugs and the cop were always involved. My mom would make us miss school because she would’t get out of bed all day to take us to school. I remember her passing out in our basement floor and me begging her to come upstairs to lay down i had to tell her if she really loved me she would, so finally she did. I pretty much took care of my 4 year old brother all the time because she wouldn’t get out of bed to do it and I was only about 12 at the time. But like I was saying she moved to florida and it tore me apart. I wasn’t use to being away from my mom even after everything she would put me through I still wanted to be there for her. She left for about three months. After awhile I didn’t even want to get out of bed. I put on a fake smile everyday so no one could tell how I felt. Once my mom moved back she met a different guy who got her on cocaine. We moved to a new house again switching us to a new school. I remember my mom leaving to go out and i would beg her while crying for her not to leave me. Once they would leave I would go snoop through their room and under their bed I would find a plate with cocaine and a straw they would snort it with, every time I looked it was there. I would take the plate and wash it and cut the straw up in little pieces and throw it away so they couldn’t use it anymore. After awhile my mom got off the hard drugs along with the man that got her on cocaine (which she is still with day and married) she stayed on pain pills for awhile. But as my youngest brother was getting old enough to start to remember things I didn’t want him to go through and see the things I had to see so my mom and I started to not get along. When I was about 16 I hated my mom I couldn’t stand he. I hated seeing her face and hearing her voice. I couldn’t stand being in the same room with her for more then a minute. my mom started taking other pills like seroquel. after she got on that she would pass out all the time and she would stop breathing. I found my mo m three times passed out not breathing having to call 911. One day my mom, grandma, and i went to my grandpas grave and on the way back me and my mom got into a fight I will never forget. Know matter how much I couldn’t stand my mom sometimes I would always be careful what I would say to her; I would never raise my voice to loud or I would never say I hated her. But this fight was different. I remember screaming at her at the top of my lungs telling her if she really loved her kids she would stop taking the pills. I told her I knew it would be had but it wash;t impossible. The next day she went to her doctors and got a suboxone which is a pill that helps addicts on pain killers. That day was the last day she took a pain pill. To this day though I can’t be around my mom for over a certain amount of time, I have lost respect for her i don’t think I will ever get back but i wish I could. I moved out and in with my boyfriend at age 17 who I am still with today because I could;t live under the same roof as her. She is a great mom and would do anything for any of her kids and she has always been that way even when she was on drugs and I think that is what gave her the strength to get off them. But I am in college today going for pediatric nursing! My mom has taught me a lot with everything she has out me through and I will never be supported by a man and I will always be able to take care of myself.
The point me telling my life story pretty much is because I want you guys to have hope. Like I said I was depressed; I have even tried to cut myself when I was only 14 years old. I thought about hurting myself everyday but hope is what got me through it. You are so young now and have a lot to live for even if it does’t feel like it at this moment. You will get through this you just can’t give up. Every feels lonely at one point in their life and you have to realize that and no that nothing is wrong with you. It might be had now but all you have to do is try even if you don’t feel like it. I believe in you!

Lilly December 30, 2011 at 8:16 am

My life has been terrible from the start.
my mother did acid while she was pregnant with me. I was molested as a child. My father was a drink and beat me. In middle school he was taken to jail for it then my mom blamed me for us being poor and since never had a christmas. My dad came back he was no longer a drunk, but now my mom was. I was a cheerleader with a scholarship untill I hurt my back. Lost my virginity at 14 I was taken advantage of. Been used by fake bfs since till I met richie when I was almost 18 he was the best thing only I got knocked up and pushed into getting an abortion so regret forever. He left me. my grandparents were the only plp that really loved me and theu died when I was 15/17. I then found a new guy and he faked an engagement to keep me then told me he just wants to be friends and I was raped and held against my will when I was 19 and lost my job because he threaten to come there my life is miserable and I have no where to turn

mike December 30, 2011 at 10:08 am

I got an 81, I used to be so happy and care free. Now I can’t go a single day without losing it. It takes so much effort to do anything, I feel like sucha loser. I need so much help

stephie December 30, 2011 at 5:01 pm

that is a bad score…I think i might need help…or just someone to talk to….

kelly December 30, 2011 at 5:44 pm

If you need someone o talk there are penlty of ppl here. We can try to help but if u feel worse u might wan to get better help then us and that will help. I went to therapy i stopped going becuz it wasnt helping ne but it might help u. Plus my person was super old and he didnt understand why i was i stopped going but find someone u like and try. Alot hqve a sliding pay sscale for teens and adults thatt dont have alot of money. And they will work with u. My parents found the old guy that i didnt like becuz they paidd for it. He was like a puppet he told them what i said becuz it was “family therapy” dont ever do that until u gt help yourself. Stay strong we can help somewhat.

The person that no one cares about. December 30, 2011 at 9:41 pm

So I’m just the stupid person that i am. Why can’t people get along with it??!. I got an 85 as my score, I mean, I’m just an 11 year old. My parents are getting divorced. I’m sick of them going out of the house to totally different places and not even talking to each other. They sleep in different beds. I never thought of myself as ” the person with divorced parents “. I thought they would have even tried to get along just for me. I’m sick of not having fun and being dull. I’m also sick of having to cut my hand with a knife to make scars. I’m sick of having to cray about 10 times a day. My parents don’t even know that I’m depressed.

kelly December 31, 2011 at 1:12 am

Im sorry to hear that u are going through that its hard im sorry. No mtter what ppl care. Iseen this and wanted to ccry. I know how hard it can be.

The person that no one cares about. December 31, 2011 at 12:09 pm

Thx, i rlly appreciate that

kelly December 31, 2011 at 4:10 pm

Your welcome ppl care but i say the same thing no one cares it doesn’t matter but ppl do care. I have 2 teachers i call one dad and the other grandpa. Becuz they care and i can always go to them. See if there is anyone like that u can tell that person anything. Ps if its a teacher dont tell them that u want to hurt yourself the tell your parents and might call the cops.

kelly December 31, 2011 at 4:11 pm

If you cant find anyone u can talk to me. I dont mind i do it for alot of friends. And myself

Afraidtolive December 30, 2011 at 10:37 pm

According to this i have severe depression. Im a high school drop out,22 yrs of age,and nothing to show for it. Everyone around me is always successful. I cant seem to pick myself up,im lost. I would never commit suicide but i have often thought of it. Maybe everything would just be better if i was gone. Too many people this week have called me names,like backstabber,emo,fat,liar…Ive never actually felt like anyone has loved me,for me. Im sure what to do about my situation. I remember when i used to love my life. All i think about now is how i have a shitty job,no friends,no male friends and how i can just give up and it will all be better. Ive already talked to a therapist about all this and now i feel like im back where i started 5 years ago…feeling unwanted,unloved,failing at everything i do. I do try to look on the bright side and think i have a great family who loves me and two wonderful roomates who care…It just never can overcome the sorrow im feeling,and i hate being one of those people that cry about how there life isnt good enough. I just want to learn how to deal with these feelings on my own and not keep everything in all the time…everyday has been a struggle and im afraid of the future and thinking whats the point. Honestly i just need a shoulder,maybe someone else that feels this way and work through it with me. It would feel nice to actually have someone to listen to me and not judge my every movement. Ive been told that im very smart and i need to return to school,but i just cant seem to get the motivation from anywhere. I also have severe anxiety and panic disorder. The meds helped for a while,but im not sure if they are even doing anything anymore. I can honestly say i hate my life,where its going,and where its been. Writing this stuff down to random people that i don’t even know is actually helping. I often ask myself if im crazy…If i have to ask does that mean i am? I just don’t know anymore. Im also not looking for sympathy,i genuinely want help with my life,because i just don’t see anything getting any better with my state of mind.

kelly December 31, 2011 at 1:18 am

Iff u want to talk im here u can write me when ever u want. I will help im only 17 but im very smart for my age. I will help if i can. :)

kelly December 31, 2011 at 1:33 am

Im here to help.

Von December 31, 2011 at 12:01 am

My health is in the toilet. I have MS have had cancer and just feel like my life would better if I weren’t such a burden on my loved ones! It’s not getting better and won’t. I don’t want to live with this!!!

Nicole:,( December 31, 2011 at 1:59 am

I’m 13 and until I was 10 my life rocked I got into the skater frond and at 11 my parents put me in a tiny Christian school and I couldn’t take the kids the whole school told me we dnt need a new girl or go die anything I can remember mornings my parents had to force me to go to school then when I got there I would act sick to go home and now at 13 I am in a public school And I was the most popular guru and I was so happy then my friend had turned on me and took everyone and I’m in 6th grade by the way cuz I gave up last year and I’m scared to death I’m doin it again and it’s almost the end of the year and my entire report card is f’s on our school party my friends were same as killin me inside and I was tryin to cut myself with a pencil and the night before I got news tht another rumor started I couldn’t breath I wanted to die I was screamin kill me and I cut myself while I was shaven 8 times on my arms and thy didn’t care and they are still doin it I don’t wanna go bck but I have to in 3 days wat do I do plz help!!!!!

kelly December 31, 2011 at 3:13 am

Just ingore them ppl did that to me. Someone even treatend to rape me. I dont want to go back either i feel like shit. It gets hard just keep your head high and do whats best for u.

Montrice December 31, 2011 at 2:30 am

Hey everybody I just scored 80 in the depression text which I am depressed. I’m a single female who is 30. I have lost my job and no money to pay any bills with. Plus I’m still in my parents house. Wow is that a wonderful life for me. Nope, it’s not. I’m used to having it for myself. Then on top of that I been used by my lover. Oh yeah my life sounds so good and it’s not. I feel like this is what my life is all about being used over and over again. Why should I stay around for that life? It’s best for me to leave this life and be at peace with myself. Oh well!

Lily January 4, 2012 at 1:56 am

I don’t know you. But someone told me that you don’t need to know someone to care. But I do care. You mean to people so don’t leave. Once you do you can’t come back.

does it matter? January 4, 2012 at 3:16 am

montrice, Idont know you. But I know how you feel. Life goes up and down, its stupid as shit but u need to look forward to it getting better. Because it always does, even if it doesnt get perfect it will get a bit better.
the world ment for you to be here. If it didnt you wouldnt. Dont kill yourself because today feels like to much. Their is always tomarrow.

sw January 4, 2012 at 8:49 am

Hi Montrice, I just wanted to say I scored “only” a 62 and both of my parents are dead. I am 46 with two boys ages 12&17. I have been used and abused my entire adult life over and over. I also lost my job 3 yrs ago. For the first time in my life I have a good man and now its too late cuz basically i just feel numb. Im not suicidal if anything Im homicidal. I say why would I want to kill me when its “them” thats hurt me. Y0u need to realize that its not your fault that they are people that use everyone in thier lives. It’s not personal its just who they are. Hang in there. hope it gets better.

karren January 4, 2012 at 12:30 pm

All of you losers who are crying about miscellaneous B.S. need to,seriously get a life. There are some many things to be grateful for like, your HEALTH! there are plenty of people who would love to be in your shoes if they were given the health and strength. So go find another job and be thankful that you do have parents to rely on or if it man problems, find a new one!

No use for a name January 4, 2012 at 8:35 pm

karren, you do realize that depression is a serious medical condition, right? it happens because either one of your nerves aren’t sending enough signal enzymes, or the receiving end cant receive it too well and cant “feel” happiness. It’s like telling a cancer patient to “stop being a loser and get a life.” If you don’t know what that person is going through, at least don’t be a dick about it and leave them alone.
And Montrice, I might not be in the same place, but I also have been through some stuff. I’ve been raped when I was 8, and ever since then, I had a hard time trusting people (guys in general). But when it’s a rock bottom, just think that nothing can get worse. and just wait for it to go up. If you think no one cares, that’s wrong. I care, as a person that shares pain. You’re parents care, as your family. So don’t give up.

amber December 31, 2011 at 3:07 am

My boyfriend, who I would do anything for and I loved more than myself, dumped me told me it was because I had trust issues, when what I was concerned he was doing, he was behind my back. Ever since then, nothing has gone right for me. At all. I just feel terrible, abandoned, like no one really cares. I’m just sick and tired of dealing with all this shit… I just want things back to the way they were. People thought we’d get married and frankly I did too… I just feel hopeless…

kelly December 31, 2011 at 3:17 am

Amber how old r u? I dont mean to sound strange but u sound alot like my best friend i lost touch woth. U dont have to answer though.

mikal wainscott January 3, 2012 at 7:24 pm

my name is mikal i am 14 but this is not my E-mail i lost a very good friend too………. i feel your pain

kelly January 4, 2012 at 6:26 am

Thanks its just hard i miss her and i dont know.

Monica January 2, 2012 at 6:31 am

Its hard to lose someone you care for so deeply, all you can do is give yourself time to let the wounds heal. I met a man in college we dated for 4 years. I told my mom and dad that he was the one I was going to marry him, we lived and acted like we were married, went to church and everything we made promises to each other that we would be each others one and only. It was magic. If you ask me, I still love him to this day, much differently, but I still love him in a way. We spilt because of trust issues , he didn’t trust me when I went to work because I worked with a lot of men and I didn’t trust him with my feelings. I still think of him and I wish him well in my head, I say a prayer that he’s happy. I know your hurt but you are going to have to find a way to let him go. It’s a process that your gonna have to go through like I did. Dating isn’t over or it shouldn’t be, just that you have different standards of who you’ll look for, some similar qualities or different when your ready to move on.

Esme January 4, 2012 at 6:53 am

I think I understand you…I felt like I had no other choice but to end my 6year old relationship after countless issues related to trust….I finallysaw for myself that he was talking to one of my ex coworkers….it hurts to know that the person who I thought id marry isn’t being faithful and to make it worse…not three weeks after I finally broke it off he plans to spend new years with her….got over our 6 year relationship in less than a month….stuck in a place where I can barely breathe or think of anything but him.

karren January 4, 2012 at 12:37 pm

How can you say you love this man more than you do yourself, and expect him to love you in return? Learn to love yourself first and everything else will fall in place. And besides, IT’S JUST A MAN. I do believe GOD created more than one.

What if I had not born? December 31, 2011 at 3:39 am

I feel pretty much the same. I’m 39 years old, male, and I sincerely think that many people would have been better off without me. If I hadn’t born my parents would not have had me, so at the end the would not missed me at all. My wife wouldn’t have to deal with the piece of sh** I am. If I’m alive is just because I’d never put my parents and my son thru it. I don’t even think my wife gives a f**** about me, but my parents certainly love me. Who knows? I’ve asked God many times to let me go, but he does not hear me on that. By the way, I got 60 on that test.

Zoie December 31, 2011 at 5:42 am

i feel dead and gone inside. im so worthless, i dont get how i ended up like this. im 13. i have an okay life. im bullied at school and think about duing almost everyday. i want to loose a bunch of weight and just starve. i cry so much… i dont know what to do. ive told my parents and they dont seem to care? what do i do.. & i got a 53.

JustMe December 31, 2011 at 6:38 am

If you are bullied, hit those in the face really good one time. You might ultimately lose the physical fight and you might get suspended but I GUARANTEE they will not bully you anymore because you stood up for yourself. Bully’s have been around Forever but so much media has hyped it to more than it needs to be. If you want to lose weight, change your diet and get to a gym and start an exercise program. You will meet lots of people there trying to do the same as you and bonds can easily get started. By doing that, your mind will also become more focused on your weight goals and not all of the other negative stuff.

Caitlyn January 4, 2012 at 1:41 am

I know how u feel.. i am 12 and i have an okay life..except i feel like no one notices me.. no one cares… they make fun of me and call me emo and depressed because i isolate myself, i dont know how to fit in and make real friends.. i think about running away/killing myself a lot. no one truly understands me anymore. not even my family. i dont know what went wrong. i also try to starve myself because i weigh more than most girls in my class (90 pounds) i scored a 59 on the quiz. i feel very depressed. i am too chicken to take action but i swear some day im gonna reach my boiling point.

Tina January 4, 2012 at 4:30 am

Oh baby girl you still have your whole life ahead of you. I know how hard it is to be the kid who is not liked in school and who is bullied and picked on. I was you about 20 years ago. And I know that right now this IS the most important thing in your life and I completely understand that. But I PROMISE you that it does get better. And you ARE worth it to do the work with in yourself to just decide that those assholes are NOT worth taking away your self worth. YOU can make that choice. Go to your mirror every morning and just tell yourself that no matter what other people THINK they know of you that only YOU know you and that YOU is f’n AWESOME. And that you ARE going to take back the POWER and let the princess with in you shine. Weight is just like age, its just a NUMBER. We ALL have things about ourselves that we NEED to change, unfortunatly some of them are just more visably obvious than others. But that does NOT mean that you are less important in any way. If you ever need someone to talk hit me up on facebook my email there is And let me know who you are. lots of big hugs for you sweetheart!!!

kiki January 4, 2012 at 6:38 am

hi im 15 and zoie i went through the exact thing you are. just know that everything wil get better in time. especially in highschool everyone pretty much just leaves you alone..except for that deadbeat loser that thinks hes funny and cant keep his mouth shut. chin up ok… :)

JustMe December 31, 2011 at 6:31 am

Really? Is life really that bad ? Being a virgin? Are you kidding me? Just go visit Africa or any other third world country and I’m sure you will realize your issues are nothing compared to others. I’m not trying to be a jerk but come on people. Read “50 Ways to a Better You for Dummies” for one. Short and VERY informative!! Also, simple methods are in the book that are SO useful. Get up and do something about your depression and stop complaining. Remember others care about you so stop being selfish and if medication or therapy is needed, GO GET IT because sitting on your butt isn’t going to make anything better.

Tina January 4, 2012 at 4:38 am

you are seriously the most arrogant ignorant uncompassionate person I have had the displeasure of reading a comment from. Im sorry but not everyone can be as self serving as you and you are NOT a doctor so to give your unwanted opinion or suggestions is just pathetic. Id suggest YOU get some help for your cold heart and THEN come back and make a comment….

kelly December 31, 2011 at 7:33 am

I think ppl try to get help and thats why theyre here. I know thats why i am. To get soppurt from others.

karren January 4, 2012 at 12:49 pm

You call this nonsense support? Anything but! It’s more like a mass suicide pack. WAKE UP PEOPLE! SINCERELY, THE ONE DYING FROM CANCER :)

courtnie December 31, 2011 at 11:27 am

i’m only 14 and i got an 80 . . . . .

Shannon December 31, 2011 at 5:15 pm

I’m Shannon,I’m 14, and like a lot of you I uave depression. I don’ know where it came from, and I don’t want to kill myself, but I’m kinda looking foward to death. Just a little. Feel so dead already, like nobody even sees me bcause theres nohing interesting about that quiet girl who sits in the corner and reads. I’ve found nobody who loves me besides my close family, but theres so many people I’d like to know and love and be loved back by, but alas, I’m just too much of a nobody for anyone to care. I’ve done everything I could too be noticed including wearing a neon pink wig to school for a month but as soon as i took it off everything wen’t back to being normal and lonely. I’m just so afraid of being like everyone else that I do so much to be away from the norm, but end up being even less spectacular than they ever were. I just kind of wish that somebody would love me.

Amanda January 4, 2012 at 12:36 pm

does it ever feel like life is moving so fast, passing you by,while you keep standing still?? Im young, beautiful, healthy, hoodrich… BUT still not HAPPY. Somedays I feel like I’ve wasted so many years I can never have back.
The times I should have spent with friends, myself, and the little family I have left, I wasted trying to love someone else. You feel ashamed that someone could be that important that without them you feel like nothing.
Nothing really gets better. They say I can’t blame myself, but I still havn’t forgave myself.
We hide the pain on the outside to try and feel normal on the inside. You’d never know by looking at my life and myself I hide these deep secrets. They always seem to make their way right back when I finally think everything is perfect. Its hard to be happy when you feel like your just “living”. Living doesn’t make you alive.

Amanda January 4, 2012 at 12:37 pm

follow me @chanelle32

FakingIt December 31, 2011 at 5:48 pm

The only time I feel happy is when I’m playing a video game because I feel like someone else that people care about. Unfortunatly, everybody I know wants me to stop playing them. I don’t want to tell them that they’re the only things that make me happy because thn everyhing will be weird between us, and they’ll pity me or something. I’m sure the guys at school wpuld get it but I’m a chick and I just don’t have the guts to talk to them.

Maxx January 4, 2012 at 4:13 am

i know what you mean, i feel the same ?;S i fuking hate my life, my mom is always hating on me, my life is shit, i try to keep myself together, but it just seems so hard now and i see no point, and suicide comes in and outta my head everyday, i just wish for my life to come to an end so i dont have to bullshit with myself anymore

Caleb M. December 31, 2011 at 8:02 pm

I scored 38. Moderate depression. The girl i have loved for a year decides she is bisexual and is inlove with a 20 year old girl. and been together for a year. And she loves me too but she is “In” love with this girl. My life is screwed ive been getting completely fucked up every weekend. This is like that stupid ass twilight shit This girl that she is “In” love with is edward. And im jacob im not gonna win this shit.

JoseDiego December 31, 2011 at 8:58 pm

I scored a 42. I’m a male junior in high school and lately I’ve been feeling very depressed at my life. I’m a shy person, so I don’t have many friends. I don’t think I’m that attractive either, I’m kind of skinny and don’t have much muscle like most of the guys in my school. I have a few friends and only two good friends(a guy & a girl) but sometimes I feel like we’re only friends because we have to be(the 3 of us barely have any friends). I feel like sometimes they rather not hang out with me(it HAS to be the three of us or just the two of them..) I feel like my life is going nowhere and I’ll always be miserable and alone. I hate feeling lonely and that nobody will ever care or love me. I have hopes that maybe the future will be better but my hopes for the future ALWAYS end up not happening so lately I don’t find the point in living life if I’m going to end up alone. I’ve had suicidal thoughts recently but I can’t bring myself to do it because of my mom, I feel like I’d break her heart if I killed myself so she’s a reason I haven’t done it.(The other reason I haven’t committed suicide is that I still have the slim hope that the future will be better but I feel my optimism fading day by day…) My mom is probably the only person who genuinely loves me, but I want someone else who isn’t obligated to love me to care about me. Sometimes I just feel like I’m taking up space because I honestly don’t genuinely matter to anyone except my close family. Honestly, if I died no one would except my family would care, and everyone else would just go on with their lives. I’ve been faking that I live a happy life around others because I don’t want people to know that I’m actually alone most of the the time and unhappy. I’ve felt like crying a lot lately because I find my life to be so pathetic an depressing since most people are living life to the fullest in high school with their friends while I just stay home by myself almost everyday(I only hang out with my two good friends like two/three times a month). I just don’t find a point in living anymore if I’m going to be miserable.

What if I had not born? January 1, 2012 at 12:21 am

Hi JoseDiego, I know what you are going thru and it’s pretty much the same I’m feeling now. I’m a lot older than you and now it’s when I’m realizing of my depression. I still have that very need of a friend, a real one whom I can trust and care ’bout me. I can say I’ve never had a friend like that. It’s possible that by being shy I’ve put myself in that position of not having friends, who knows? I even feel my wife doesn’t love me no more and it’s only because of my parents and my son I’m not dead. It’d be extremely selfish to put them thru that pain.

Lessandra January 1, 2012 at 2:50 am

Hi there,
I can honestly say I know how you feel–but don’t give up on yourself. I know things seem unbareable, but you can’t give up. Highschool is so myopic–it is such a small part of our lives-our lives have barely started. The people in highschool, just forget about them–the best part of their lives will be in highschool. For people like you and me-the best part of our lives, will be the rest of our lives, alright?
Don’t be sad, honey. You are going to meet encounter so many amazing people in your life. Just don’t give up on yourself.
I’m not going to give up on myself either because I know life is going to be amazing, and even with depression, I just know things will be better for me.
Good luck! Lets start out the new years right!

chris martin December 31, 2011 at 10:58 pm

I am getting Help,for my Depression.

Lessandra January 1, 2012 at 2:12 am

My name is Lessandra. I’m 17 years old now.
My depression started at least 7 years ago. No one in my family has ever noticed my depression, because my brother–hes had problems as well that were much more prominent then mine. He suffers depression also. My parents always tell me, that they don’t know what they would do if I was like my brother. Now, I feel trapped on this pedistal–and I can’t tell anyone..
I want to tell them, but I don’t know how. And my boyfriend.. God, we’ve been together for 4 years now–and I haven’t told him either, but I think he knows that there is something wrong. It just makes me feel this overwhelming guilt and saddness.
I desperately need advice on how to tell people whats been afflicting me over all these years–and I think I need to see a doctor. Things have been the worst they have ever been these last few months.
I just need desperately need advice.
Thanks yall. Have a good new year!

kelly January 1, 2012 at 7:31 am

I know what you are feeling im 17 and dont know how to tell ppl and when i do they run and tell someone so i stopped telling ppl. Now i just stay to myself i havent told my boyfriend and we have been together for 6 years. But he knows somethibg is wring. I wish i could help u but i dont know how. I wish i could tell ppl. Thought i would tell i feel the same way and my boyfriend has depression so i dont want to tell him and hurt him. Im his strong point and keep him afloat. So what do i do tell him? Or keep it a secert? I cant hold it any more.

Monica January 2, 2012 at 6:17 am

You need to tell somebody. Go to a guidance counselor, call a hotline, email me, hey I know exactly what you mean. My sister was diagnosed with cancer when we were kids, mom stayed with her in the hospital, dad had to work to cover the bill,that left me going from aunties house to aunties house so I could still go to school. Ousted to just spend the time in the basement alone because it was always the auntie that didn’t have any kids to take are of that was willing to look after me. If you trust your boyfriends tell them. I’m pretty sure they care enough about you to know what’s going on. My husband knows about my condition and he would remind me to take my meds. The first thing is to open your mouth and talk about it. Once my folks and I had a sit down on what happened, it made things so much better, like the fog had been lifted. Literally.

kelly January 2, 2012 at 8:54 am

Ive told them and im afrqid to tell my boyfriend becuz he thinks im ok and happy. I just dont know how to telll my parents. Ive tried counsling and they sent me to an old man who made me uncomfortable. I want someone younger closer to my age kinda. I am afraid that if i tell my parents how i feel they wont trust me. I just got their trust to stay home alone again. I dont want to lose that. And if i tell thm they will. I think tyey feel like faliures as parents becuuz mybrother has anger problems and my sister has anxiety attacks. I have depression and anxiety attacks but they dont know about the anxiety. They only know the depression. I just dont know. I feel better talking to ppl i dont know as well rather then talking to my parents. Counsling didnt work for me i tried and it didnt help it mademe feel worse becuz they bring to much of the past up and i dont like talking about the past. I just dont kknow any more.

Tiffany January 4, 2012 at 6:21 am

I understand what you are saying about not wanting to talk to even the people who are closest to you about how you are feeling. It’s exactly how I feel. Although I know they would be there to talk to me about it, some part of me is ashamed that I can’t seem to get a grip and that I am spiraling downward. I would rather them all think I was doing perfect as I sit here ignoring the world. Although I do want to talk to someone..just don’t know who. I go through periods of feeling extremley wonderful then all of a sudden I can’t focus anymore and I lose all my motivation and passion for anything I am usually so interested in. When I went through it pretty bad a year and half ago I finally went to the doctor and he gave me depression meds which ended up making me worse. As soon as i decided to stop I was fine. But within the last 3-4 months it has been slowly creeping over me again. Now I feel worse than I ever have. I don’t know what to do…I feel like I don’t even have the capability to even make any decisions. My mind feels empty and I feel dead inside. I have a loving family , tons of friends, a job and a thriving social life…how does this feeling happen to somebody???

Maria January 1, 2012 at 3:10 am

I am afraid I am going down the rabbit hole again. After more than five years without the symptoms of depression I can feel the dark curtain pulling over my mind. Why? I don’t know. My life is good. My husband loves me and I have a granddaughter. My job is good. We have paid off our home and business. I feel both guilty and discouraged that I have lost the zeal to achieve and be productive in my life. Just to get up and make banana bread seems like a monumental task. I have started taking Cymbalta 60 mg but it doesn’t seem to be helping. I will get through this but am afraid of how far down I will go before I can get a grip.

So-and-so January 1, 2012 at 4:22 am

It’s not just a “rough patch” for me. I’ve been depressed my whole life. I feel useless.

Patrick January 1, 2012 at 4:28 am

i made a 68 on the test, and richie i can really relate to u, im 17 still vergin. I lost my father, aint really got a mother. i feel that im super hidious, well i am now thanks to 20,000 pimples. i just feel that my life is a curse is all i was a good kid, but all this bad stuff started happining to me, so i just said my life is a curse.

K-C-P January 1, 2012 at 1:39 pm

dam u have almost the same life as i do, and ur name is even patrick. just dont think about any of this stuff and u should at least make it through the day. thats what i do

WR Deep January 1, 2012 at 4:34 pm

Man, I was virgin at 24. Don’t worry about it that’s not the real deal. Eventually you’ll find someone. At the end I found who is my wife now and I’m as depressed as I can be.

Emili January 1, 2012 at 6:06 am

Wow! I am onl 12 and It says I am a 51!-.-

Dennis January 1, 2012 at 8:58 am

i got 65 on the test my life is pure suffering and this is wrong to say whem you are 14, my father keeps saying shit about me at my back and he does it about everynight, i got this bunch of sickness like diabetes and ive lied about 1 year know telling my sugar is fine. I really dont believe in god and any fucking religion (not to be ofending anybody). Having “friends” somehow makes it worst .I should just stop speaking to anybody and try to move on and hoping i die soon.

Jules January 1, 2012 at 4:37 pm

Wow….my heart hurts so much for everyone here and anywhere out there who is suffering from this terrible state of being. Although hearing everyone’s struggles and pain makes me sad for you and me since I’m also going through depression, I also feel a comfort in knowing I’m not alone and I believe that we all have a chance. I’m so sorry you are all in pain. I wish we could wipe away the tears and sorrow like it never existed. But as we all take on our individual battles and journeys I hope that you all may find some comfort in knowing that we are all experiencing this together and that you are not alone. I thank you all for your honesty and courage and I will be praying for us all, I promise. Reach out to God and reach out to others. We are in this together…do not give up please. :)

Emili January 1, 2012 at 10:33 pm

Custody battles suck so much………….

Jess January 1, 2012 at 11:38 pm

78 on a good day..and I’m 15..woohoo..-_-

That Kid... January 1, 2012 at 11:47 pm

the funniest thing is… I scored a 66 (severely depressed) and I’m 15. And i already knew what this told me, but everyone thinks I’m just the happiest person ever.

I guess my point of commenting is just to let people know that teens CAN be depressed not just having “mood swings”. And dont be fooled by a smile. If you feel something is wrong, ask them and dont put off what they say…

Ed January 2, 2012 at 12:45 am

I scored a 67 I think I may have a problem.

Lily January 2, 2012 at 2:58 am

I scored a 68 and I’m so confused about how I feel, I feel like I can be happy but I don’t know how to do it. Now I don’t find anything funny anymore. Nothing is worth doing. I just stay at home all day. I’m turning 18 in a month and I’ll be all alone in a state where I know no one. I don’t know what to do. I havent had a relationship in a while. Though I know that shouldnt be the most important thing in my life I can’t help but feel that of I were worth it I’d have someone to love me…

Monica January 2, 2012 at 5:40 am

People come and go. Friends get replaced with new friends. And so forth. I went away for college and the thing is to get out and do something, say hi to a stranger lend a helping hand and start a conversation. If you need time give yourself time to adjust to let change happen to find what will make you happy. Try stuff! Relationships are awesome and especially what you get back from them, but you have to remember that you can also lose yourself in one and end up making things worse for yourself if all you do is that which makes your partner happy so they love you in return.

Ryan January 2, 2012 at 2:59 am

Well, I’m 14 and my results indicated moderate to severe depression. I know that it’s not a diagnosis tool, but I sorta believe it. My life is pretty good, but my family life is awful. My mom is manic and obsessive compulsive, as well as hypocritical. She has severe road rage and gets angry with everyone in my family. She screams and screams about everything she presumes is wrong with how I am living. She says that my way of living is wrong. She bad mouths my grandparents behind their backs. She has had a pretty easy life and treats her entire family, including me, terribly. She has her good days and bad days, but on her bad days, watch out! My father hasn’t really been with me at all. My mom and dad were never together. My dad is rude to my mom’s family and can be physically abusive. My mother and father contribute to most of my emotional and mental abuse. The rest has came from 4 years of bullying at my school. The reason? Because I like to sing. Sometimes I just feel like screaming and leaving and never coming back. I just want help.

Monica January 2, 2012 at 5:30 am

I hated bullies at school. They called me “Miss Prissy” because I was a lot more innocent than they were. One of the haapiest days In school was when this girl named Audrey , one of my many bullies, got her ass beat by another girl for getting to smart. Her head smacked the chalkboard and the chalk ledge. She went to the principal’s office crying her eyes out. My friends and I still laugh about that to this day. I don’t condone violence, but it’s a nice thought that karma will always have the upper hand. Contrary to popular belief, folks always get back what they give out.

Monica January 2, 2012 at 5:24 am

I am a thirty year old mom of 3 and I scored a 62. Not as bad as a thought, but worse too. I skimmed through a lot of the postings and they come from individuals younger than me, and I am inspired to say that when I was 11, I was starting to get depressed because of situational events in my life that affected me and I didn’t have anyone I trusted to talk about them to. In a way today I still feel that way. Through the years it’s cycled where I’d do good, I’d do stuff for me because I liked it, because I wanted to, and the results were all mine, I did t have to share them with anyone, and I was happy. I was nineteen then. I fell in love, I compromised my happiness for someone else’s and I thought they’d make me happy too, but nobody can make u happy but yourself. To all the young ones, you have the ability to make it through and make things happen. Please don’t let fear hold u back from accomplishing anything. I did it and I’m proud that I did. It all started with going to someone and telling them about it. I went to counseling I got rid of my fears. I learned to see rationally past them to be happy. I got involved at school, i wrote poetry, i did stuff that made ME happy. I’m about to call an old therapist of mine to get through me losing my job, and feeling trapped and a failure to try to recuperate something from life so I can show my kids how to be happy.

kelly January 2, 2012 at 5:38 am

i geuss i should tell u my story sence i try to help people. So im severlly depressed and its from mental and emontioal abuse at home. And the fact that ive been picked on sence pre-k. Sence i was in third grade i was havey and over at school always said stuff then i would go home and my parents would talk about me and my brother would long with my sister. Im the youngest of three and always picked on for it. Then right before i turned 10 my grandpa passed away my aunts and uncles started to say stuff becuz of hiw oi was griveing. Then time went by and when i was in 6th grade my daad almosr died. He had quad bypass and a pace maker put in his chest. Thats when i realized i was depressed..i grew up cookig cleaning and taking care of him weell trying to get good grades. And kids picked on me more. When i got out of grade school and into high it got even worse and my aunt died freshman year and every year someone in my family died. After that i started to think about killing myself alot more then before. By junior year i was done and i started tto cut and take alot of pills hoping to take to many and bleed out every night i went to sleep bleeding and woke up to blood soaked cloths and still alive. So i told a friend he cqlled the cops and they tried to stp me. I still do it and i havent stopped. Then senior year soppused to be the best year. In the beginning a football player threatend to rape me. So i told the school they didnt do anything to him. I have to see him everyday and he still gives me looks. I now deal with my parents yelling at me day in ad day out. I just cant do it any more and its to much pressure for me. I want to die. I want to crawl into a ball tonight and die. I just cant handle it. Please someone give me qdvice. I need help. :( :(

Monica January 2, 2012 at 6:04 am

Baby girl I am so sorry for what you are going through. I wish I did have an absolute answer for you. I don’t. All I have is that if you haven’t died yet its by divine intervention. That’s what I call not being able to cut deep enough, getting too sick when I take too many pills and especially the one time when I did OD and like you woke up the next morning. When I came out to my parents about my depression they yelled at me more out of fear of losing me. I’m not there when they yell at you so I am assuming , please forgive me. I’vehad my share of bullies and when I gave my petition for prayer for my sick little sister, I became the object of ridicule too. (I went to catholic school and my sister was diagnosed with cancer at the age of 3) They named me “Miss Prissy” because I was Very innocent compared to them.
The ad truth is that people won’t ever stop talking about you for what ever reason good or bad. At my last job I had a male friend that I was close to and the thought on everyone’s mind was that we were sleeping together, just because we always went out to lunch.? I’m 30 years old. It doesn’t stop. It will stop when You decide to stop letting it affect you. 8th grade changed a lot for me because I literally stopped caring. Bullies would look at me funny and I’d look at them back. I mean what were they looking at? So what if I’m fatter and not as trendy as you because I don’t have the money and your too skinny anyway.. :p . As for the football player, I can’t say much and what I want to say I shouldn’t because of liability concerns. Hold your head up, keep going. If you feel you have faith, hope or love the size of a mustard seed then there is enough to keep going. My 3 kids are all I have to keep going because my hell would be them going through this same thing because I left them without a mom tht would paint their toe nails every weekend, or show them to be a gentleman. I can’t give them this hell that we go through.

kelly January 2, 2012 at 7:14 am

Thanks its just they yl wt me all the ime and last year i lost my other grandpa 10 days before my 16 th birthday and he was always there for me. I could always go to him to get away. And he died in the house and my parents are forcing me to move into his house. I just go through alot and my parents know about the problems but puss them off like they are nithing. I just worrythat one day i will cut too deep and take to many pills and die. I tell them that i hurt abd they hurt me when they say stuff but it doesnt stop them and it hurts me. They should be here for me. I call one of my teachers dad becuz hes always there foor me. I just cant yandle them any more and dont know how much longer i can push through this im only 17 and i feel like im 45 becuz i have 8 god children and my sister has a child i always take care of. Hes with me 6 days a week and with her one day. Its hard. Im more like his mom then her. She pays for everything but still she should raisee him. Hes two now and ive raised him pretty much secnce the time he was born. I just dont know what to do. Dont know if i can handle this for much longer.

kelly January 2, 2012 at 9:56 am

I just dont know any more im having trouble i dont know how long to push. Im tired and dont want push through anymore. What can i do i tried therapy already?

Rylee January 2, 2012 at 10:12 am

I got a 96, and I am very diss appointed in me “wow “I never though this would go this far naver would of thought I’m only 14

But I have been adopted 13/14 times never liked any so far I have been treated so bad I hate life

Sh'lea Williams January 2, 2012 at 1:09 pm

Hi Everyone . My Name Is Sh’lea . Im 17 And I Have Been Diagnosied With Depression , I Just Wanted To Take This Test To See How It Was Still Going. I Have NO Life , I Have NO Happieness , Im Only Happy When I Think About Jimmy . This Boy That Im Obsessed With. Hos My LIFE , I Love Him So Much . But He Doesnt Love Me . He Doesnt Even Want To be Bothered With Me . It Hurts . But I Still Think About Him Everyday . My Mom Doesnt Understand My Love For Him . Nobody Does . So Thats Why Im Getting His Name Tattooed Soon . <3 I Love The Thought Of It . It Makes Me Happy To Know That Im Getting His Name . But His No Good For Me . His Shady And He Down Grades Women . But I Still Love Him . I Know I Need Help .

Tiffany January 4, 2012 at 6:34 am

Being obsessed with someone who is rejecting you will only cause you more hurt and even maybe drive you into insanity which is a million times worse than depression. You need to seek some help from some type of therapist or couselor. You are focused on unimportant things right now. Think about yourself and loving yourself, only then will anyone else be able to love you. Get involved with some type of hobby or sport where you can be around other people who injoy the same things.

Drake Finnigan January 4, 2012 at 7:11 am

I know what your going through I have another friend who is going through the exact same thing right now, I just went through a break up myself, but right now I want to warn you, don’t confuse obsession with love. If you want to talk I left my email in info box. Best wishes.

eljay7513 January 2, 2012 at 4:21 pm

I feel sad. My friend said I change mood in a span of minutes. I believe in God but I feel helpless sometimes.

WR Deep January 3, 2012 at 4:04 am

Believing in God won’t prevent you from being depressed. I believe in God too and I’m severely depressed. Keep on going and it’s possible one day all will get better. I have a bit of a situation myself and I’ve been depressed for more than two years.

emily January 3, 2012 at 1:00 am

i just wanna talk to someone who can care

B. Locke January 3, 2012 at 4:31 am

Well, I certainly have the time to hear your tale. Do go ahead and fill my ears with your sorrows, and let me do the best I can to respond.

Dan January 3, 2012 at 2:59 am

50 & Everyday I want to die. My wife is so clueless its sick. She knows & doesn’t even care to take time to say it will be ok or do anything to help so why go on???

B. Locke January 3, 2012 at 4:28 am

Hello, one and all. You can refer to me as Locke, if you wouldn’t mind, of course. After observing these tales, some mildly woeful and others completely heart-wrenching, I can come to the conclusion that of us all, I surely am not suffering as much as others, my score just barely passing as “moderate” (36). But perhaps you should hear my own story, and not rely on scores in order to judge my situation.

In terms of how my life is going, I suppose it is going fairly decently. I have plenty of close acquaintances. My father is a medical expert, which grants the family an excellent income (though I never did get any sort of allowance, sadly). I have many talents (theatrical acting, singing, boasting of the former two talents).

I am also a good person, yet most of the good acts I do are done in the queerest of ways. You see, I help make others lives better when they are having difficult times, yet when I do so, I rarely do these deeds in a direct fashion. For instance, I once knew a man who had been homeless, but had a golden opportunity to turn his life around and get back on his feet. However, he needed 20 dollars to do so, which he lacked. Slowly, the opportunity was reaching a deadline, and he had yet to find $20.00. One night, he forgot his straw hat at the street corner, and so that night, which I had happened to walk home due to going to a party, I decided to help the man and placed a $20 bill in the hat. I was across the street when he found his hat, and when he did, he jumped for joy. I hear he became a highly successful entrepreneur afterwards.

I am also one who is sort of like a reverse love guru. I’ll explain later. Anyhow, nobody takes my advice seriously, sadly to say, and they end up breaking up with their lover. Again, why they don’t take my advice will be explained later.

So you may ask, “If your life sounds so great, Mr. Locke, then how is it that you are depressed, if only moderately?” Well, the problem lies in the fact that…well, I am completely unloved by anyone other than my adoptive grandfather–I’m adopted, by the way–and I’m not sure how much longer the WWII veteran will live. My birth parents have been hinted to have had me only as an accident, my adoptive parents could not care less about me, my friends are probably not truly my friends, and…well, I would say I have never had someone think of me as a significant other, but there was one. However, she was diagnosed with severe schizophrenia a long, long time ago, and there’s only been one other possibility since–but I’ll get to that later.

My friends, you see, sometimes don’t notice that I am in the room sometimes. Now, don’t get me wrong; they aren’t the “treat you like shit” friends; they simply are closer to each other than they are to me. But perhaps it is a matter of me needing to turn the social levels up a notch.

As for the previous things that I stated that I would mention later, well, now to that. You see, as I am a sort of reverse love-guru, it is because I am wise when it comes to relationships, yet have never been in one. That is why couples do not take me seriously. As for that possible gal who sees me as a significant other, well…I am not sure if she has an affection for me or not. I recieved hints, but not full-fledged signs. You see, I met her at this theatrical camp where people get together, create, and put on a musical. There are all sorts of things and activities that go on during the camp, of course, such as this dance that is affectionately referred to as the “Bootyquake.” One of the songs is always a slow dance, you see. And this is where I got the first hint–well, actually, it was the second hint (why then am I not talking of the first hint?), so I shall speak of the first hint after this. Anyways, she personally came and asked me to dance, which I agreed to. Odd, I thought. Anywho, as we danced, she looked into my eyes in a way that hinted…something.

As for the first hint, it was a year back–my first year at the camp, I believe–and at a dance rehearsal (what? People dance in musicals), there was this big, one-time excercise involving a southern dance routine (yes, I live in the Southern US…I’m not proud of it). That year, there were more guys than girls, so obviously it was girls choice. And you know what? The same gal came and asked me to dance! Apparently, if she’s had any sort of affection for me, it must have been one that’s lasted years!

There were two more hints this year. One of them was that she would come to me when she had questions like, “Is this the second Act?…Oh, then do you think I have time to go do such and such?” and whatnot. That doesn’t seem like much, I know, but it’s still something. The other thing was probably the biggest indicator. At the end of the camp, there’s always a hug session that occurs, where we go about and hug everyone. At the point when she and I hugged, and I pulled out, she stopped me, placed her hands on my shoulders, and said, “It was great seeing you this year, NAMECENSORED.” And that has been the biggest indicator so far in that year. That night, this fact was makin’ me think.

There was one other indicator that I dont consider during the camp. You see, there was an all-nighter party going on to celebrate the successful production, and the cast was invited. There was to be a Nerf war, which I just had to participate in. Turns out the gal went to the party, too, and we both ended up on the same team (which I got to name [Team "Pesky Plumbers"...get the hint?]). In the preparations to the battle, she and I met on the stairwell, and I stated that I was planing to have an ambush, and she decided to join me. In the end, we never got to use our plan, but it was a damn good one, anyways. As the battles were fought, we had moments that continuously hinted at her possible affection. In the end, though, the war was called off, and I sat down to regain my energy, and accidentally ended up taking a 3 hour nap. When I woke up, it was 8 am, which was time to leave. All that night, I had wondered if she liked me or not. In the end, I decided to find and ask her, but it turned out that she had left before I woke up. And so here I am. Turns out that the next camp that happens would be her last (there’s a limit to how many times you can go to the camp), and I don’t know if she’ll go or not, and so I may never learn the truth, and will remain with people who…just don’t care for me.

Now, you may think, “Well, Mr. Locke, that’s not so bad/you’ll find someone and thus will cure your depression!” But the thing is, that isn’t the cause. In fact, even I don’t know what is causing my depression…I get the feeling that something in my past caused this, but I can’t remember due to my horrible memory!

Oh, the lack of love, the gal I might never see again, the past event that I can’t remember, and that time I got stoned for being agnostic (which I probably should have mentioned…Hm…maybe that’s the horrific past event?), they are all causing this painful feeling! I try my best not to convey this feeling to others by hiding it behind a mask of a personality! It is MADENNING! Oh, I could off myself and relieve my pain, but that would only hurt others (though I doubt it)…and besides, who else would pull the strings to make his friends’ lives better? Oh, the misery….

But I do believe that I am overexaggerating things to much. All I ask of you, the reader, is this: “What do you make of this situation?”

–B. Locke

No use for a name January 4, 2012 at 8:52 pm

You sound exactly like a guy I know. And… I kind of know how you feel. On the outside, I’m the fun-loving, popular enough, occasional boy friends, social butterfly. But I sometimes feel like I’m not fitting in, or I just feel… out of it.
Depression doesn’t have to have a visible reason. Things happen… and things will be explained as you live on. I hope you find your gal. If it’s meant to be, it will happen again c:
cheer up.

B. Locke January 6, 2012 at 10:45 pm

Well, I do hope things work out. Thanks for that hope of yours, nameless, and I hope both our situations are resolved.

It should also be noted that recently I discovered that my friends think I’m somehow cruel and emotionless. It is mainly related to the death of a friend, however, and less related to my personality. You see, it began when one of my friends stated that everyone thought his death was a part of YHWH’s plan, yet he couldn’t see this as being an act of good as others did. There was then a flurry of comments–this was on Facebook, by the way–about how they were in heaven and whatnot. One even linked a YouTube video about someone going to heaven, which didn’t even relate to the matter. Well, me being an agnostic, I agreed with him on the “it can’t be an act of good” idea, though I stated that it was due to my agnosticism, and thus I didn’t think that they would be in heaven. And in response, tons of people began to insult me, calling me cruel and uncaring. Even the guy who didn’t think this was an act of good joined in. So I decided to not speak of the matter.

A few days later, I commented on a status that said “the dead teach better lessons than the living”. Well, I assumed that, for once, someone was being philosophical on Facebook, so I replied my own opinion of the matter, stating “Yet the living can reflect on the decisions of the dead, who wouldn’t be deceased if not for their actions.” You know what happened next? The same guy who’d made the previous status came on the scene and accused me of dragging on the subject of the deceased friend’s death further, when by “the dead” I meant tyrants of the past, not the dead friend. Others started commenting the same thing, and before long I was being told things like “stop insulting [CENSORED]!” So, in response, I’ve decided not to get on Facebook if they cannot see past the tip of their noses and find that I there was nothing in the status or my comment related to the deceased friend. I just can’t stand the hateful remarks of others.

Now, I know that I should realize that their remarks are likely related to their confusion and pain caused by [CENSORED]‘s death. But I can’t help but feel that they see me as cold and emotionless, as many of them referred to me as such. Lately, I’ve tried not to think of it and to have worries–you know, Hakuna Matata and whatnot–but still, the idea plagues my mind, and obviously has only worsened my depression. I just hope that, in the end, I can make it through this.

Lei January 3, 2012 at 4:53 am

I’m 14 and scored an 83 on this, i’ve taken 3 depression tests so far and their all severe depression….

Not sure January 3, 2012 at 5:20 am

Im so lonely its so much pain !!!!!!!!

WR Deep January 4, 2012 at 8:42 pm

If something, at least thru Internet I can accompany you. I feel like you do.

madeline January 3, 2012 at 5:48 am

I believe that u and i could be the same person. I.didnt know how to describe my feelings, but u sir hit the.nail right.on the head.I’m an all star athlete and an actress. I’m a leader to all of my friends and family. I got good grades. Basically I have the life that someone would dreams of having. But I’m sad. I don’t see myself as my friends and family do. I feel like I’m a disappointment to my parents. All of my friends are beautiful ladies and fine men. I don’t think I am liked by them. And reading other peoples stories make me feel terrible for thinking the way I do. I shouldn’t be cccomplaining about my life when its so “perfect”. I just cant help it. All of my thoughts are negative and even the best things in life iiI ccant bring.myself to appreciate. Am I wrong for being sad? Is itt sselfish of me? I am not proud of how I am. And that is why I kkeep my feelings locked up inside me. How do u deal with your own life when everyone else is asking u to help them. Never asking to hell

Tiffany January 4, 2012 at 6:53 am

I completely relate…I am the person everyone , family and friends turn to for advice or to just listen to all their probelms and woes. People see me as strong and motivated and full of life. Nobody realizes or even notices how I have slowly become decreasingly detracted and hopeless. Sometimes I suppose it actually makes me feel better about myself when I can help someone else but in the end I just become bitter and mad. I honestly don’t know what to do about the way I’m feeling.. I think I just want someone to care, like I need someone to help me. ..maybe just literally say to me or give me the same advice I may give someone else in my situation. I just cant say it to myself right now mind is so foggy ..

Brandon January 3, 2012 at 8:07 am

She screwed me…i was getting better, but when she left me she took it all, all the progress i made building myself up, finding happiness in myself all gone. sad part is i still love her deeply and ill never see her again.. i hate her and i love her…

Cienna Marie January 3, 2012 at 9:12 am

I’m 12 and it says I’m moderate to severe ad that’s sad I got kicked out of school for cutting and I feel like it’s the end of my life I cut myself and I always think of suicide I wanted to see if I was depressed ad I am so I thought I wuld just share

dan January 3, 2012 at 12:48 pm

Hi, I’m Dan. I’ve taken the test and I keel getting high high numbers. I’m tired of being tired and sad. I’ve been put on meds for depression but nothing has been able to snap ne out of it. I just always feel upset. I gave lost so many fucking friends because i basically isolated myself away from a lot of people . I don’t know but I have no will or want to do anything at all. I never feel like going out . I don’t feel like anything . I sometimes will just be sitting down and start crying uncontrollable . The only thing that truely makes me happy and never leaves me is my dog sad I know. All I know is that at least he’s always happy to see me unlike so many people I once loved . I can’t take putting on my fake smile anymore and pretending to be happy when I’m not . I’ve tried so hard to look at the bright sides of everything but I can’t. I’ve even pray to god a lot. It doesn’t help but only upset me more that when I pray its on silence alone hoping just hoping he might answer me . I just can’t take being along anymore it kills me but yet I always try and be alone which doesn’t make any sense . I cry a lot . I can never sleep anymore so I look tired all the time . I do barely anything with my life anymore. I stay home so much more than o have ever and it honestly is destroying me. My dreams make no sense . They are all of friends that I miss so much and me laying on bed thinking of who would care if I died and wasn’t here anymore. I see docter and everything. I’m getting to the point of I can’t take it anymore and might just give up . I know lifestyle hard but my life has been really hard mentally for 4 years now and I’m so tired of it.

lostinkentucky January 3, 2012 at 8:08 pm

i am a 34 year old woman. just came out last year after a 14 year marriage that i am gay. found a great person to be with and everything was going in the right direction, i thought. she lost her job in august. times was hard, waiting for unemployment. then i lost my job in december. i wont get unemployment. so here is the new year, broke, unemployed and depressed. i hate myself. i dont want to be here. sometimes i think it would be easier for me to run away. since i left my husband, everything just seems like its all comeing down on me. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up….

Dana January 3, 2012 at 9:04 pm

I scored an 83, but i knew i suffered from deep depression before I took it. I am having a problem regulating my medication and abusing the ones for sleep. I’ve been sleeping two and three days at a time and now Im starting to lose weight. When im awake my energy is low and I cant seem to keep from crying every hour or so. Im so shakey I can barely stand it. I hate myself. Ive been miserible for a long time and lack the courage or conviction to kill myself, though I want to die. I feel alone even if folks are with me. I feel weak, so weak. The day after christmas my cousin told me that two of the same family members that molested me also molested him and I’ve been on a downward spiral every since, a depression Ive never known before has me in a tight grasp and my thought processes have been altered. I trust no one but these pills im gonna take when my company leaves.

Dan January 4, 2012 at 1:32 am

Dana, Hang in there, you will make it.
Your post helped me to try and give you hope.
Just “Hang in there”, don’t let the stupidity of others wreck you. PLEASE……….

RICK January 3, 2012 at 11:20 pm

Scored a 61 at least I finally passed something huh??? What a disater my life hs become. Just do not want to do anything any more. Wish i would have never made it through the triple by pass last year; seems like since I had that things have gotten worst. Eat everything I should not be and put on another 15 lbs. Yep the DUI in November was the kicker….. Oh well just continue on with things and be miserable I guess.

James Coll January 3, 2012 at 11:27 pm

I am a 40 yo divored male. I have not seen my children in 5 years, and two months exempt for one time. three years ago. I am ordered by the courts to pay $1405.00 a month in Alimony, and child support. I was jailed for child support three years ago for 5 weeks. I have paid on time for the most part since. I missed a payment last summer, because I was high most of the time. I have a drug, and alcohol problem due to not seeing my kids. My ex makes it that difficult for me. The courts are on my ass, and I feel I will be jailed again for child support. I also have a small business called Magic Carpet Cleaning. I got married again to a woman I love, but my past always creates problems. I try to be strong for her. I am also a part-time Paramedic in order to make my support order. I have no interest in being a Paramedic anymore. I only do it so I won’t get jailed. I try to do the best I can while I am on shift, despite my problems. Sometimes I feel like taking my gun to my head, but doubt I will go through with it. For now anyway. My life is just a existence. The only thing I look forward too is spending time with my new wife, and drinking, and using drugs. I doubt I will hear anything from anyone because the world does not care a fuck about me.

jack January 4, 2012 at 4:22 am

Yeah man i feel your pain all i do is smoke grass just so i can feel something! Dont give up though,at least you have a wife who loves you! Ps you’re ex sounds like a real bitch.

Shane January 4, 2012 at 4:34 am


You need to talk to someone. I was a stepmother to a child and her mom kept her from her dad. It was awful. The way she treated us ultimately ended our marriage. It was too much to bear. Please don’t think that no one cares. Talk to someone.

mariah January 4, 2012 at 2:29 am

Hi, My name is Mariah
I am 16 years old. My mother does druges and dont see me. My dad has been trying to make the best life for me but i still feel sad. I go to school with a mask and go to bed crying. My dad has a girlfriend that comes and goes. I try to keep my head up just cant. my friends dont know what i feel about my mother. some times i feel like i shouldn’t be alive but then i look at my dad, brother and my friends. The hardest part is that my mom didn’t see me on Christmas like she promise.Not only my mother but everyone thinks that i am perfect but really i am not.My dad keeps comparing my brother to me and i dont like that. The thing is that i been felling sad ever sense my dad broke up with my mom. I just feel that apart of me is gone. I feel lost and that no one cares.

dontknowwhattodo January 4, 2012 at 2:39 am

I got a 62.. its not a big score but I really feel bad about myself.. I’d like to talk to someone but my parents think that I’m just exaggerating and that I’m selfish.. and maybe I am but I feel like I need help and I want it but I don’t know how to tell my parents that I want help.. any advice?

WR Deep January 4, 2012 at 9:58 pm

I got 60. It feels pretty bad. I can listen if you want to talk.

Michele January 4, 2012 at 3:35 am

I’m 16 and I got a 73 I honestly don’t know what to do with myself I’m. A ugh disappointment to my parents and everyone is walking out of my life I have been bullied on since I was a child til now teres so much more I just don’t know I can’t do it anymore

Adam January 4, 2012 at 4:26 am

Hello. I’m 19. My life sucks. My family treats me like shit, and my friends ignore me. No one in the area wants to be friends. My girlfriend almost never talks to me and i think she no longer loves me. I have given so much well being for everyone and got nothing back. Now I have nothing and nobody to talk to. When I go on fb then everyone goes offline or just f**king ignores me even when it says there online and doing things. THAT’S BULLSHIT! I’VE GIVEN EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE! And now I’m just about as depressed as shit. I scored a 80. Which is severe depression.

WR Deep January 4, 2012 at 8:53 pm

Hey, I can listen to you. Who knows? We could become friends. At least we are depressed, that’s something in common, isn’t it?

Kimberly January 4, 2012 at 5:19 am

For everyone here, guy or girl, no matter how old, I know how it feels to be depressed. I still am, at times. And, I just wanted to say, if you ever need someone to talk to, someone to just be there? Email me.

Drake Finnigan January 4, 2012 at 7:01 am

I’m a 17 year old senior preparing for graduation and transitioning to college, all my teen years I never felt like I fit even when I was generally accepted by my peers. I hate being the only black guy everywhere I go when I live in a predominately African American area. I never followed some of the cultural isms and customs that when I considered my background I should. I was always rejected by my black peers because many felt that I was uppity and arrogant; mind you I take a very rigorous curricular schedule as well as a job, volunteer service and regular service. So for a while I lingered between “niches” trying to fit in with I described as the white or preppy kids, who were usually white or Asian. Unfortunately that didnt work out either, though I was accepted I didn’t care for that type of culture/niche. So yea I made friends but I felt I never really quite fit, I’ve felt this way my whole life. So it made me feel quite lonely. Being overweight most of my years didnt help either. I began running in the dead winter of 2010 to lose weight, since then i went from 222 pounds to 168. Then as I hit the dating seen around 16, I blew off the girls who were into me and chased after girls who I wasn’t on the same wavelength as. After a couple failed relationships Ive began to withdraw socially and feel more lonely.—— along with family issues through the years, my only support system was my family, the trust and support in my family was beaten down over the years since I saw my parents fight around 3 or 4 years old, and since several events have occurred that have torn the trust and love out of my family. I constantly feel sick and tired. I just quit my job,volunteer ship, and I have decided to graduate early on account of enough credits. —– my family finally realized the depression when I attempted suicide December 11 four days after my b-day.

Drake Finnigan January 4, 2012 at 7:05 am

Scored a 66 woot :(

WR Deep January 7, 2012 at 3:57 am

I scored a 62 in another test. On this one it was 60. If you wanna talk, I can listen. Just hang in there and don’t give up. Things can get better even when now you can’t see it that way.

Shawn January 4, 2012 at 10:52 am

I got 42, moderate/severe depression. I don’t know. I just feel there is no point living and I always think why my life has to be like that. I know the reason I’m depressed. I am 23 but have never had gf, always get rejected. No one likes me that way no one loves me. I’ve done a lot of things but I’m still single. and I will never be loved. I am alone and lonely and I will be alone and lonely forever. My friends never call me or contact me even though I haven’t done anything wrong to them. I don’t really have anyone to talk. I can’t trust my parents, I don’t wanna freak them out since they care about me too much. No one actually cares about me, cares about my existence. A lot of things is going around in my head and I get so sad and depressed and after all I feel like I wanna disappear. I’ve tried to concentrate on other things which distruct me, but I just got tired of anything. I want someone to talk to me. I wanna be wanted and needed. If no one needs me, I’m nothing then. why do i live? I wish I was never born. It’s hard to live every minute now I wanna get out of this living hell.

Meg January 4, 2012 at 5:54 pm

It’s okay. Calm down. I know how u feel. U r not alone. Even though idk u. I care. I understand and I won’t judge u. I know u want all the pain and despair inside u to end, and it seems the only way out is to dying. It’s not. Although I feel the same way u do, I don’t believe any of the negative things u think about yourself are true.

nikki January 5, 2012 at 2:39 am

I know what you are going through. Sometimes in life we feel empty and not wanted. Sometimes it seems like its not even worth it.. I recently broke up with the man I loved because of a misunderstanding. Now everything seems empty.. I feel lost. I feel out of control.. I sometimes dont want to live. Life can be difficult but you just have to look forward. Right now I donot feel like there is any point to living. If I can’t be with who I want. What is the point? I look to God for answers and he has always been there. Sometimes you just have to be silent and let the world whisper to you. God will always answer sometimes not in the way we want but he always does. Good luck.

Stephanie January 5, 2012 at 6:42 am

I’m 13,I feel the exact same way. I don’t feel like anyone loves me or cares about me. I want to curl up in a little Ball and disappear most o the time. I’ve had a boyfriend, but he ignored me and I ended up breaking up with him. I feel alone, unwanted, and numb. People think there’s nothing wrong with me because I put on my happy face, I look happy, but I’m not.

Alejandro January 6, 2012 at 9:38 pm

I feel the same exact way. I’ve had relationships but no matter what I still want to just disappear . I got a 54

becca January 7, 2012 at 12:52 am

I have said all of those things soooo often and no one ever listens to me. I hate myself and i want help but no one wants to help me and i have never done anything wrong. I no exactly where you are and i wish you the best.

paige January 4, 2012 at 7:55 pm

Oh wow….I just took this test and got an 85. Looks as if I’m severely depressed. Might have to see my doc again bcuz I haven’t felt like my prozac has been working. LORD please be with me.

Hannah January 4, 2012 at 9:01 pm

I know EXACTLY how u feel!! i feel lonely everyday. i have recently lost my best friend and it seems like no one likes me anymore. i feel like i have no love…from ANYONE not even my own family. i mean yeah i know that they love me but still it just dosnt feel that way. i got a 44 on my test which is in the same range as yours :/ i feel you! alot and everyday i think to my self like “why am i here? god give me an answer!” because to be honost i have no idea why.. sometimes i dont want to call my self this but i guess tht i think of suicide alot and it. it hurts inside. ur not alone trust me. im here for you! i know what u feel like and how bad u want it to go away.

Hello January 4, 2012 at 9:28 pm

I actually haven’t scored much on this, but since there are so many stories shared, I think I could also.
I have been raped when I was 8, and that has affected me through out life. I never told my parents, because I’m more afraid to hear what they would say. My dad is a pretentious “nice-guy” that tries hard to make the family look perfect, but doesn’t actually care what really happens to the family. Only a few of my best friends know about this, and I know they do their best to help me get over it. It’s probably better if I DID get therapy since it’s been having such a major effect in my life, but I find it the hardest thing, in my life, that I can admit. Even though I know it wasn’t my fault, I cant help but feel somehow I did something wrong, and just extremely… disgusting. It’s an odd feeling. Recently, I found the house where it happened, and also learned that the person still lives there. It seems like I have a choice, but what can I do about it, for something that happened 9 years ago?
Still, I try to move on from it, and leave what happened in the past. I hope everyone here can also find that peace in them.

Sam January 4, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Your existance is important…I truly believe that everything will work out…you need to seek professional help…someone you can talk too without judgement. I see someone twice a week and it has turned alot around for me….I’m by no means cured but I feel like I have some self worth back…please see someone…

kayla January 4, 2012 at 10:32 pm

i got a 77…

Robyn March 11, 2012 at 2:44 pm

Ha ha, me too! I’m currently going through referral after referral but does it help? no. so i just smile falsely and pretend that I’m ok. i’m so lucky though, because i have one person who understands me. and i only had to tell her to find that out.

Lydia January 4, 2012 at 11:38 pm

I know I have friends, but for some reason I can’t just be happy. I got a 61, and even though I have friends and family that love me- I’m just sad all the time because I’m so ugly, and I feel so ashamed to look at anyone. I always see pretty people in the magazines and on TV, and wonder, why do I have to be so ugly? No matter what I do, I always screw it up and I finally just gave up. Not everyone has a pretty face. I just hate that I look this way. I don’t understand why people even talk to me. :’(

Aaliyah January 5, 2012 at 10:19 am

I know how you feel Lydia a feeling like how would anyone love me idk how to explain it just think that your pretty and nice if you have a nice personality that’s even better just do that

Corey Watson January 4, 2012 at 11:39 pm

I am Corey, I am 14!!!! I got 76 and I might have answered less than I should have :/ Well I don’t know what to do now…

Bekah January 7, 2012 at 4:23 am

…I know how you feel. I don’t know what to do, and I have no one to talk to about it.. I’ll pray for you, if you’d like though..?

Victorya January 4, 2012 at 11:56 pm

Honestly I’m not even sure what’s going on. I’m only 15 with my whole life ahead of me but recently things are changing. I do have a family history of depression and I’m scared that I might go down the same road. I scored a 44. I didn’t think it was that bad! It’s just some mornings I don’t want to move. Not just in a fatigued way but ever. I want to feel what it’s like to just go missing one day with no stress or worry. I’m not saying I want to die but I dont see myself in the future. I can see my family and friends moving on and being happy but I don’t see anything when I try and find myself and my future. I have a good home life and great family and friends but I can’t seem to shake this black cloud that clings to me

Shawn January 8, 2012 at 12:35 am

I know exactly how you feel I am also 15 and at first thought I was fine and everything would get better but recently through things that have happened I feel just do much worse all the time im never happy and I kinda just want to get away from everything just to see what would happen I scored a 58 and I’m going to try to get halo because I am tired of feeling like shit all the time

Krystal January 5, 2012 at 12:16 am

Hi, I wanted to encourage Shawn and Meg. I don’t know either of you but I’m sure your heart is good. Sometimes we get in our slumps “playing the victim” but I want you two to know that everything will work out for your good! Shawn I thought it was funny that you said “no one loves me”, yet in the same paragraph you also said you don’t want to tell your parents because “they care about me too much”. I don’t know if you’re a Believer or not but God has AWESOME plans for you! Jeremiah 29:11 states, “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to Prosper YOU and Not to Harm YOU, plans to give you hope and a future”. Don’t worry about how others think you’re invisible. You should take some time for yourself and get to know what you like and try helping someone who actually needs your help. Like feeding the homeless or volunteering at an elementary school. Children are always looking for a role model. Seriously, I promise you will make it throught ‘this funk’! I love you Shawn and I really pray that you will find the women that your heart desires! Meg, be encouraged, this too shall pass! We all have to encourage ourselves and each other. You would never guess that I scored a 70 on this depression quiz, but somehow I must look past my pity party to help others. God bless you two({})

candice January 5, 2012 at 12:43 am

I have three little kids in my life,if it wasent for them i know i wouldnt be here now, ive been strugiling with depression my whole life,i had tried to kill myself long before my kids were born. ALMOST did. I was in the I.C.U. for three days. I downed @400 Asprin, i ate it like candy, waited for three hrs. to make shure it stayed in my system,would have waited longer but the pain i was experianceing was nothing i had ever felt before.I dont whish that feeling i felt upon my worst enimy! ive been trying to cope with my extream sadness by myself, hideing behind my wall. I can only preted for so long, im gonna snap, Im dealing with so many family issues, everyone around me would leave me alone!!!! Im going fucking crazy!!!!:( people are not caring about nobody but themselfs,and bad habbits.

Lisa January 7, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Candice I ko what you’re going thru I tried suicide also and am a mother of four I wish I could blink and its over but its not that easy, I was in the ICU for a week then recently my oldest daughter tried to commit suicide and its horrible! I dont know how else to mask it anymore, Im soooo unhappy, my husband continues arguing and my youngest, I feel hates me. I have nothing but my kids, I dont know how to keep this going. I want my daughter to have a normal life, but kids are really brutal they have her cutting herself and trying to hang herself. How can I keep doing this? My life is in shambles and I dont see nothing positive in it, other than my kids, who I love very much, which is why Im still here. I will keep trying to make it ok for my kids but Im so unhappy with my own life!!!

corinne January 5, 2012 at 12:45 am

Shawn, even on meds I am still a little depressed. I still scored a 17. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. For me it’s a way of life and I have learned to deal with it. In fact, I have told my closest friends and family. It helps them understand how I feel some days and then they can either push me or leave me alone, whatever is going to work at the time.
First you need to go to a psychiatrist or even your primary care doctor. If your friends aren’t calling you, then you need to call them. Tell your parents, you need to be honest with them. You also need to have someone worry about you. You are in a very bad place right now and need support to get out of it. You need to take care of yourself, love yourself, and then you can think about finding someone to love. One quote I refer back to is by Lou Holtz: “Life is ten percent what happens to you and ninety percent how you respond to it.” Don’t just sit around and wait for something good to come along, you have to get out there and find it. A professional will help you change your mind set and turn your life around.

Kimi January 5, 2012 at 1:00 am

I got 44, moderate/severe depression.

I can’t figure out what else my sadness might come from, other than the fact that I lost my father almost 3 years ago when I was 13 years old. Since then, I’ve moved twice, lost a lot of friends, my mom has gotten a boyfriend, and within the last week her boyfriend has just gotten full custody of his 6 year old daughter, who is now living with us permanently. I know I carry a lot of issues with me from my dad, especially since he eventually passed away from health issues brought on by a life of alcoholism. I feel like when he could have changed things he chose alcohol over wanting to be my dad, and wanting to see me graduate from high school and college and see me get married and have kids of my own. It’s cliche, but I feel like he abandoned me. Other than having issues from my dad, I have issues with my mom’s new relationship. Before she started dating again she told me, “You’re my daughter and you’ll always come first,” and now that she’s in a committed relationship she recently told me before Christmas, “If you act anything but happy during this Christmas break, I swear I’ll lock you in your room until you change your attitude and can come out with a smile on your face, because I’m sick of dealing with your sh*t, Kimi.” She’s also gone from the mom that talks everything out with me for my benefit to what my dad used to be like, where she feels it’s inappropriate for me to show how I feel whether I’m sad/upset or angry which, in both instances, I’m quiet and more drawn in on myself.

A lot of the time I don’t realize how unhappy I think I am because I’m so busy and absorbed in my school work, but when I think about how I really feel, I can’t think of anything that makes me genuinely happy. None of the friends I have make a sincere effort to reach out to me and invite me over or even just talk to me; I always have to start the conversation. I feel like I can’t even turn to my own mother anymore because of how she’s changed, despite her realizing her own changes. When I think of how I feel about my life… I just think, “What’s the use anyways? Maybe I’m just meant to be unhappy.” Fortunately, I’m far to afraid of pain to ever commit suicide or cut myself, but I’m still unhappy… All I’m looking forward to at the moment is getting out of this house that I hate so much and feel like a prisoner in so I can move on and go to college…

WR Deep January 5, 2012 at 1:04 am

I scored 60 which is severely depressed. I’ve been like this for more than 2 years. I don’t feel my wife loves me no more. I’m with her just because of my son, who has some psychological issues. I’m not successful at my job and my finances are a disaster. I’m so sad and tired that I can’t stand my life. I hate myself for being so useless and life for being born. I wish I was not born. That way I wouldn’t have to deal with all these issues. Some days I feel a tiny better than others. My best moments are those when I’m sleeping. I just hope one day I go to sleep and never wake up again. I’m 39 years old, male.

Lisa January 7, 2012 at 10:14 pm

i kno exactly how you feel, my first marriage was a disaster he was also a pedaphile which doesnt help when you’re sexually molested by a family member and your own daughter wants to take her life. I dont know how to help her when I also want to end my life. what do u do when u have four kids who depend on you and you feel helpless, I have social anxiety and have nothing. I just want my kids to be happy and for a normal life without depression. I want my weight gain to go away and everyone who has hurt me to pay for what they’ve done. I didnt deserve it, I was only 14, I never did anything to make him think it was ok to do this to me. I just hope my girls dont ever go thru this cuz it horrible. I just wish someone would understand that Im not going crazy that my aunt’s husband is a sick bastard who needs to have his rippped open and to suffer thru years just like I did!! I had a normal life till he disrupted it…. he needs to suffer!!! GOD will make sure of it, I kno he will!!!! Drinking to make me numb!!!

Colette January 5, 2012 at 1:14 am

Hey I scored a 53 and I think that there realy isnt acure for depression beacuse people may try to help u but it might not always work and I have been sexuly abused three times in my life time two of them own family members. So yea and im 14 years old and u can reply to it if u want ok

Mary January 8, 2012 at 2:21 am

Sorry…. It’s very hard but life continued even for us …..that happened to me when a was a little girl… But oh we’ll! Time pass and my life get much better now I lost my brother and I feel super sad…. Anyways sweetie speak up and find help good luck to you and got bless you.

amber January 5, 2012 at 3:00 am

Wow. I Scored 67 ( Severe Depression). But Kinda already knew it but i guess i need to go to a doc. sometime but i feel like such a baby if i go and talk about my feeling…I feel like i should be strong enough to deal..but in this last year i dont know if i can…so i may just swallow my pride and talk to a doc. since i miss my old self and being happy.

Brian January 5, 2012 at 7:31 am

I miss your old self too! Come back, Amber, come back! I finally convinced myself to see a doc for the first time soon but I’m not really looking forward to it. I know that it’ll be so much better and easier after that first talk though. We’ll go in together alright? And then our old selves can hang out.

Paul January 5, 2012 at 5:38 am

I got a 77….im 23 years old and suffered from social anxiety pretty much my entire life….i have very little friends….most of the time i think of suicide and been planning it out for about 2 years….i spend most of my days and nights alone in my room smoking weed and drinking alchohol when imnot working…..i tend to shy away from social situations….shaking and sweating at parties thinking everyone is judging me and it drives me crazy….i wrote several suicide notes in the past but was too afraid to go through with it…i promised myself to kill myself before i turn 24….I think im ready to leave this world to many shady/backstabbing motherfuckers out there….Im a failure to my parents and know that my father doesnt like the way i turned ouT to be….I just know it….

John January 5, 2012 at 7:59 am

And how do you know it? Have you talked to him ? 23 (or 24) is hardly the end of your life and you are not now who you will become. There’s a lot more time to change things around. It’ll be difficult but so much easier with help. Seek it out, Paul! It’s not as far away as you think.


Sarah January 5, 2012 at 5:42 am

I got a 63. I was really surprised by this, but then again, I’m not…I’m still trying to come over a disorder. I think that has a lot to do with it. No one knows how I feel, or (I know this sounds absurd) about my disorder, since I discovered it myself. Since last year, I have become a lot more quiet, and less social. I really just want to stay home and not do anything, because I feel like there is no point in anything. I don’t really care anymore. Sometimes I do think about killing myself…just sort of daydream about it though. I think I’m too much of a wimp to do it myself. I wish I knew whether this is just regular teenage angst or ACTUAL depression. The thing that concerns me is that I have felt like this for about 2 or 3 months, and it has progressively gotten worse. I’m afraid to tell anyone though, because I hide it well, and I don’t want them to think I am being over-dramatic. Any advice? It would be greatly appreciated.

Brian January 5, 2012 at 7:47 am

Advice? I think you already know that it isn’t just angst. Speaking from experience, angst is more like short outbursts and one episode doesn’t last for more than a week let alone a couple months and it definitely doesn’t involve thoughts of suicide. Angst is over a cute boy or your curfew not some indefinable sense of hopelessness. BUT you don’t have to take my word for it. Just tell your parents that you’re feeling sick with a sore throat and think it might be strep and want to see a doctor. Drive yourself there or just get some reason to speak privately with the doctor and then ask him. He will be able to help and with no one else the wiser. Alternatively, you can schedule for a physical (are you involved in any sports?) as physicals are always private.

And just to say, Sarah, I hope you remain a coward all your long life when it comes to hurting yourself.

jeets January 5, 2012 at 5:59 am

i scored 68 lol fml

candace January 5, 2012 at 6:03 am

i got an 81? thats probably not good since im 16….

jazman January 5, 2012 at 7:08 am

i got a very high score. i also took other test on other sites like this and they were very high.. should i get help or am i just losing my mind and dreaming that this has happen. i seem to feel lost alot of the time. i ahve been sexually assaulted since i was about 5 by the step father and i am 17 now and it still happen to this day. i am scared to tell anyone as i don’t want to hurt my mother as she loves him alot. sometimes i wish i was beatten up instead of beening sexually assaulted. sometimes i wisih i could just die and i also pray to GOD, and wish he would just take my life. i have tried to commit suicide so many times i also cut myself everyday. i wish i would just disappear in thin air.

Lisa January 7, 2012 at 9:50 pm

Im so sorry what your dirt bag stepfather is doing to you, but your young and you have alot to live for f**k him and tell your mom what a dirt bag he is, if you dont he will get away with it. I wish I could have my uncle in prison but my aunt who is is the police and his wife doesnt believe me so f**k her and everyone who believes her, I know what he did. So u should have the same attitude and f**k everyone who isnt behind you, cuz you deserve to have a happy normal life just like I do!!!

Lauren January 5, 2012 at 8:58 am

This is something I’ve struggled with since I was in 9th grade. Four months ago I attempted suicide. For a while I never thought about it, but lately it’s been getting worse. I haven’t been having the anxiety attacks that I used to get, but my life feels like it’s spinning out of my grasp. Now all I think about is pain medication and booze. I feel useless, stupid, and completely unreliable to everybody. I don’t think I can bring myself to try suicide again, but if I don’t get help soon, I’ll do something that may harm me. I struggle with this away from the knowledge of those around me. I feel alone. And I’m not going to be able to handle this feeling much longer without some serious help.

anonymous January 8, 2012 at 1:04 am

try to get done in your mind what you try to accomplish in life…. if might just satisfy your mental condition’s needs. But a quick suggestion….. alcohol and meds wont help you. Just try to think about things that nobody else would think about. Try to divide by zero without graphing it. Explain why if giant beaver overlords ruled the world then the cheese danish would never have been invented. try to find a completely abstract and improbable experiment or project that makes you think and causes you to think about your prject so completely and deeply that you have no time to feel depressed.

Aaliyah January 5, 2012 at 10:15 am

I got 82…… For me nothing has meaning anymore I hear my big brother and big sister talk about me bad. I feel that if I am dead it would be great for them they would be happy. They drove me to this I don’t. Know what I did I to make them so mean by the way I’m 13 long way to go I know that life has it’s ups and Downs but right now I’m falling down out of control if you are still reading this thank you for hearing my story should talk to my mom instead of rapidly going to God and heaven where you are loved unconditional I don’t know what to do or say should I be dead would that help my case I want to just run from this nightmare and hope it would be over soon thank you for reading this it really means ally that you took the time even though idk you all

lilly January 5, 2012 at 7:01 pm

hey kiddo. dont let you siblings bring you down. im the yongest of 11 siblings. i have 8 sisters and 2 brothers. you may think that they dont love you but they really do. i use to think the same thing about mine. than i ran from home and i had all of them worried about me. its not going to be easy i can promise you that… but you dont want to think that they dont care about you cause that can cause you to do something stupid and then it is going to hurt them… some things that you do you can not take it back. keep that in mind hun. i will be here when ever you need to talk.

Max January 6, 2012 at 4:23 am

Don’t despair! Siblings don’t always get along; I know my sister and I sure didn’t have the best relationship. It’s especially easy for the older ones to look down at their younger brother or sister and lay the blame for their own hurt on the youngest because they seem weaker. But you’re not weak! Don’t let their words hold you down. Go and talk to someone you can trust, your mom or a counselor at school. You need help through this; it’s too much of a task to stand alone against everything. Heaven is not the only place for unconditional love. His love is here and is surrounding you even now. You just need to open your heart and let Him fill you up!

Max January 6, 2012 at 4:26 am

I don’t know if I can share this, but this is a video you should watch. It’s about the Father’s love that he has for each and every one of us.

If the link isn’t there, the video is called Lump by Rob Bell and Nooma video.

Anna January 6, 2012 at 4:31 am

Of course you should not be dead. I’m glad I can answer you, I feel like you too. I wish I had a good advice, but what can I say, you are a human being, I’m sure you’ve got amazing “features”, because everyone has, even those who apparently don’t. About your brother and sister talking bad things, fuck them, you know. It’ll be over soon. I promise, and I hope this little text helped you in some way :)

lilly January 5, 2012 at 6:55 pm

i got a 57 on my test. i am not suprised to be honest. the thing is i have felt like this ever since i was 12. im 17 now. it all started after my brother had left to go to the army. i feel lost with out him. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont hang out with my friends and even when i do i dont act like i use to. does any one have any advise to give me??

britney January 5, 2012 at 9:20 pm

I scored a 41 which Im not shocked by. I know Im depressed. I don’t want to be but things always seem to drag me down. Im 25, I should be happy because Im married with 2 sweet children. I would never consider suicide like I used to but its hard to stay happy anyore. My whole life I’ve always came second to EVERYONE. to my parents, my bfs, or my friends. Now Im married, Ive never felt lik e Im loved as I should be. The whole 3 yrs of marriage has been really depressing. I can’t trust my husband because he’s always flirting or texting with other women and making them feel good about themselves. While im home feelin worthless, raising our 2 kids. How am I to get out of this depressing funk? I dont wanna be for the sake of my children. They deserve better from their mom. & thats what gets me I feel like my husband and children can do better off without me. :(

DEEPLY DEPRESSED January 5, 2012 at 10:01 pm


Gabby January 5, 2012 at 10:30 pm

I got a 72 I’m married with 2 kids I’m a born again Christian I love my kids in life and that’s mostly money is my cause of depression we been living with my mom for 2 years and that’s depressing not having ur own life or money to get anywhere not even church I don’t have any friends anymore my kids don’t Eather I just pray for all of us to be blessed deppersion is not from god and I wish for. The peace of god on all of us sometimes we just need to vent but there’s no one there…

cjs January 6, 2012 at 2:53 am

I got a 69. My story is so much like alot of the ones posted. I am surprised to read the post and I think to myself that I to have done some of the same things others have done. I also feel unwanted and that the negative things I feel are taking over my life. I feel like I am a failure and that if I did not have my family I might have given up on life. I hate feeling down in the dumps and trying to make myself feel. I hide the hurt I feel and try to put a smile on my face. But my wall is enclosing on me. I feel as if I could snap at anytime.

Ashlyn January 6, 2012 at 3:35 am

I got 64 severely depressed. I have been forgotten and I’m lonely I know people have it worse off than me but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m sad. Everyone one judges me so harshly that pretending to be happy everyday is growing older and I have helped many people get out of depression yet I still can’t get out of it my self. I’ve never had much of any friends If i did they have died I only have a few people that care but I can’t tell them I want to die. Everyone especially my parents pressure me to be perfect and I’m clearly not they compare me to others and I hate it. I’ve had the lowest self esteem since i was 5 years old because my family members would make fun of my appearance. I’m different from most people so the kids in my school don’t like me.

jesse January 6, 2012 at 4:07 am

I got 58 !!! I didn’t just put the worst to put it . It took me 45 minutes to answer these questions !! I though i’d come out mild but I’m severe. just makes me sadder !! but I’m always positive. sadly never for myself !!

Anna January 6, 2012 at 4:27 am

Wow. 49. Didn’t think I would get such score. I don’t know. I’ve achieved great things at school, but nothing seems to change, I feel hopeless. Nothing entertains me apart from tumblr, eating nice food (thing I deeply regret afterwards), or, nothing. I’ve got friends but they don’t seem exciting anymore, even if they’re the craziest and apparently most fun people out there. Then, I feel interested about someone, a boy, and it happens to be bullshit. Plus, I feel like a slut, because of him. I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m in this website either. My arm hurts a little right now, for the first time, if you know what I mean. Just a little. Sorry. Such a long text.

Anna January 6, 2012 at 4:38 am

I seem happy although. In fact, I’m like the happy girl of the house, of school, I happen to make people laugh a lot. I’m surrounded by a lot of friends, but I still feel alone. And I don’t feel like telling this to anybody either. It’s better to lay down, play sad music and do nothing. I don’t even feel like crying. I feel like doing nothing.

Laura January 6, 2012 at 5:31 am

I scored 58 I haven’t been myself lately. I’m not suicidal Im just not myself. I’m messing my relationship up with my boyfriend especially. I try to distract myself from everything. I’m not sure if me and my boyfriend are in a weird place because we got into an argument about how his friends and cousin threaten to hit me And he did nothing about it. Immediately after the argument we spent too much time together. I have tried to keep space between us but I am failing. I’m hoping I’m acting this way because I am getting my period and on new birth control. If anyone has any advice or experiance this please please help. I’m desperate. I don’t want to lose him over it.

spike January 6, 2012 at 5:42 am

I have worked hard for everything I have. I have all that I wanted as a child toys a big house of my own entertainment and a wife that I hope loves an cares for me but it seems that it is never enuf. I work 70 hours a week making 26$ a hour but still seems like I don’t have enuf. With these feelings I lost my father in June to a overdose, my grandfather that was more like a father in Aug the my mother passed at the first of Dec. I wake up every day (not wanting to) an have to remind myself why I shouldn’t just eat 12 ga. Slug. I have way more then I ever had growing up. But that isn’t enuf any more. I want punch my boss in the throat when he talks to me. Drop the 2000 lb blocks on my brother inlaws head. But I would rather stay at work then go home. I have been with my wife for 13 years 6 of them married. I used to yurn to go home to her but know I’m worried what she will judge me for today or have to lison to what ever mindless shit she my have to say tonight. I am bored with my life I used to just go wit the flow know I find myself weighing out the pros and cons to any abnormal that comes my way. I guess I just needed to vent a little to people that don’t know me or may not ever read. ACTA non VERBA. I wish I could live by that I tell my nieces. Fuck me fuck you

Joshua January 6, 2012 at 6:38 am

I got a score of 65. I just knew I had to take the test. I’m just a teenage boy who feels worthless and a coward. Every morning I walk to school at 6 knowing that each day will just be more and more miserable. I just kick up some sad songs walking to school and thinking about love, life, freedom…etc. I get too offended easily. At first I thought I was just being too sensitive but those thoughts just stayed in my head. I can never let it go after what he or she said or did to me. For the most part I can’t concentrate on school anymore. I’m just a big failure now. I know school is a big deal but I lose concentration too easily. Once I read or learn something I forget it in about a day or two. I really need to do something about it. I hope for a better future, I’m tired of all this fighting and dumb thoughts that go in my head. All this will go away once I step up and take care of myself. This depression test was the first step to realizing what I need to do. I hope all of you will do what you can to make yourself a better person. I’m not just worried about myself but everyone who suffer depression.

Wondering Thoughts January 6, 2012 at 8:17 am

Hey ya’ll im only 24 and it seems to me that my life just left me behind im married to a wonderful man who i know loves me and i have two amazing kids and a beautiful step-daughter…. yet i feel like im the one out of place see i was molested for 8 years and raped on several occaiond even though i dressed like a guy to try to avoid it and it haunts me more and more with every passing year which in turn make me so so tired and i have this constant migrane and body aches all the time. see i scored a 42 and ive taken 10 other tests that say moderate to sever depression. i think maybe its time i stopped lie’in to myself and just knuckle down and go to a doc cause i dont know about ya’ll but i am fed up with this dark cloud feelin im the pit of my stomahe i hope ya’ll find peace

Afraidtolive January 6, 2012 at 10:30 am

Dear Kelly, Thank you so much for caring and trying to help me. Age is just a number to me, both my roommates are 18. I’m feeling lost and i just want to be a better person I just don’t know how. I feel like a failure and i hate it,this whole anxiety thing has kicked my ass since i was 17. I feel like i am using it as an excuse. I don’t know, i have my good days and then i have horrible days. I just have absolutely no motivation to move on from this feeling. Feel free to email me if you would like just easier to talk. Ps if you need to vent to me about anything also feel free to do so. :)

akshay seth January 6, 2012 at 10:32 am

I have got 89 .I am in deppression. My age is 17 yrs old.I have sereral deepression .I will give a loss of life and my marks .I m hate all person in the class.But I have no solution about this matter.I am short term memory loss person.I have 4 yrs deepression control but I cannot control the deppression problem.I have no interest in any work
I have lost my love .This reason I am in depression I am not understand me.

saeed January 6, 2012 at 11:24 am

I got 61 , im 16 and i have a lot of important problems but no one cares , no one wants to know me! Even my parents , i hate my father , my mother is so sweet but she doesnt care abt me either , i mean last week she just found out my faviourit food by accident , my only best friend is my computer , i love my computer more than anything in my life , i dnt have anything big in my life to love , i dnt have loveable parents or girlfriend , im all alone , sometimes i just feel like running away , somewhere no one never find me

Skittles January 6, 2012 at 4:48 pm

My test on here is a 72 Severe depression life to me is a waste. I am only 17 about to be 18 years old and my mother is worried. I tried to get away from my life threw drugs but everytime it dimes down i get more and more depressed. Mainly I lock myself in my walk in closet room just to get away from my family, so dont hear them asking me the same crap over and over. But sometimes family makes it hard to be happy because they always judge on stupid stuf that really doesnt matter in life. I went to a therapist for about a year and nothing is working, I have also went to my family doctor and all the meds the give me does not work. But that can also be the cause of my random night that i cant sleep. I sadly go threw 4 to 5 days without sleep. So if anyone has an idea on anything i can try for sleeping i would love to know.

Anita January 6, 2012 at 5:31 pm

I got 83…

Bill January 6, 2012 at 6:59 pm

I scored 27 mild to moderate. I hope I’m not still lying to myself. I just got out of a psych ward after a suicide attempt. I had been thinking a lot about suicide and started taking prozac. a few dsys later after a real or imagined conflict with my wife I took a lot of pills. I didn’t call for help which I’d do if I felt that way now. I don’t feel like killing myself anymore but I’ve really blown it with my family. Long road ahead starting with regaining self-esteem.

Kayla January 6, 2012 at 9:15 pm

I only scored a 16, but sometimes I feel much worst. My depression is normally triggered when I’m watching “reality” shows or on a social network. I feel so unpleased with my body, I feel like I’m in compition with every one (girls in particular) I see them and I feel I just don’t measure up. I’m not trying to piss anyone off bc I do actually feel like I have family, friends and ppl that love me, but when I don’t love myself it can really suck! I’m only 21 i’m married and I have a 1 year old daughter so I feel a lot of pressure to measure up to my friends who don’t have kids or with perfect bodies. I have stretch marks all over my stomach, so i’m dreading summer time. I don’t want my friends to see my embarrassing body that will NEVER be two piece ready :(

Brian January 6, 2012 at 10:16 pm

I have no reason to be depressed, but I am. Scored a 67 and probably could have been higher than that if i could have been most honest with myself. I am frustrated that I feel this way everyday. I feel like my life is over or set in a particular path, i realize how idiotic this sounds but i cant help but to feel this way. I have had good times, success, and it feels like it is never enough. I am religious and know that this is not the way God would want me to feel everyday. All these disappointments feel like they are spiraling around me everyday. That i am stuck in my own self perpetuated vortex or crap. thanks for letting me vent here. God bless us all.

Hi. January 7, 2012 at 12:47 am

Um, I scored a 52 on this test even though I have mild/moderate depression.
But I do feel depressed every single day, and when I feel really depressed I tend to think how the world will carry out if I commit suicide. I feel like my friends don’t want me anymore because there’s always one that tells me to back off most of the time. And the thing is, I’m bisexual, which is a problem for (some of) my friends. A lot of people accept me, but I’ve been rejected by every person I like because they think I’m too… “Emotionally detached” and always in a bad mood.
I still have the love from my family, but the stress they put on me to be a good student makes me depressed when they expect more out of me.

becca January 7, 2012 at 12:56 am

I find it sad that most of these posts i can relate to. I got a 66 on this and im a teenager. Life bites.

Katelynn January 7, 2012 at 1:22 am

Wow.. I got a 63 Guys..

Bas January 7, 2012 at 1:53 am

Hello I’m 21 and have been seeing a psychiatrist almost a year now and even though I’ve been taking my meds and sometimes I feel like I can take on the world I feel like nothing is worth it any more, when I’m with my friends I have a great time but to be honest I just pretend to be happy and it is not fair to them I don’t know what to do. I took this test I got a 58 thats kind of bad I think I really hate feeling like this my friends tell me that I make them happy and when there with me they feel safe but like I told my best I could be with everybody in the world at the same time but honestly I feel alone I don’t like holidays and specially I really hate my birthday for me it’s just a reminder that your close to death. I have tried everything I could think of to get that happiness I once had but it only makes me happy for a short time then I’m back to the same bullshit!!! I don’t know what to do anymore…

Tiffany January 7, 2012 at 2:25 am

I got a 62 and I am currently on prozac but i dont think it is working anymore I also suffer from severe conversion disorder .. I just feel useless…I havent showered in a week..I have no energy…no nothing

Ashley January 7, 2012 at 3:43 am

I got a 35.. Moderate/ Severe depression.. I knew i would get this score because probably 70% of the time, i feel sad. My parents just got divorced. I cant say that i was shocked, because i knew they had, had problems for a long time but somehow its tearing me up because i feel like my mom blaims me for it. Then i have trouble keeping jobs and me and my boyfriend are always argueing. He feels like i dont have faith in our relationship because i act so negative all the time. I’m always afraid hes going to cheat or stop talking to me or leave me and so i lash out and he feels hopeless. I dont know what to do because i really, more than anything want to be with him because i love him but i cant stop being negative. I try but everytime it just builds up in my head and i cant help but show it. My boyfriend’s friends are always asking him, “Dude whats with your girlfriend?” because i get quiet when hes with his friends because i feel left out and not worth talking too.. I feel this hopelessness that i cant seem to get rid of and i dont know what to do.. Sometimes i wonder if ill ever be truely happy again

Dan January 7, 2012 at 5:21 am

67 Higher today, but who gives a shit.
Can’t find a person that cares if I live or die??
I talk to no one and if I don’t talk to some one I will die,

Farheen January 7, 2012 at 5:30 am

Well i got 54 and i’m 13 years old. My friends have been putting me down lately and have no respect for me. My family is another problem. I have to be and act perfect. No slouching, talk to elders, dont wear skinny jeans, meet grandparents ALL the time, etc. I have to take medications so i dont go anemic again and i’ve been gaining weight from them. I can’t seem to lose it and cry for no reason sometimes. I just want to feel happy again. I want friends who understand me…

Ted January 7, 2012 at 7:40 am

I scored a 67….. help me

Alexis January 7, 2012 at 8:00 am

i got a 70. and i didnt think it would be that high to be honest. and i dont know what it could be.. i am 16.. and i think i live honestly a noraml teen life. and sometimes im happy. happyer then ever and bubbely and bounceing around like a teenager should. but doing nothing bad. geting B’s in school(my dads saying pokes at me…THE DIFFRENCE BETWEEN A a AND A b STUDENT) and i mean its possible i could be..i mean my mom is and i think her mom is? idk we dont talk to any of my grandparents. and well cant be my parents they are together. one works and watches TV like a normal dad. and i help my mom cook and clean..yes she has her…momments that show she forgot one of her meds.

but i honestly think thats normal. well mostly. from my friends they all say their family..sits down for dinner every night? and the parents cook and their family comes in for hollidays and NOONE ever fights

what ever it may be… its starting to..crawl at me
that feeling. not of killing or hurting myself. but of just emptyness
i cant talk or but i can say a mouth full if i type it i dont know if thats because something? or maybe its just because im small and intimidated?..but never show it because everyone would laugh or take it personaly.
and i cant sleep lately.
but my mom gets mad because i have to sleep to go to school. so i take 2 bennidrills. which make me calm down abit
im in band but i dont suck and im not the best
im in some advanced classes but that was a mistake that the scedual lady did but i do all my work
i help with theater to do somethin
i draw sometimes
and play piano
i collect pigs.
and im haveing these memorie blanks i think. thinking i did something i didnt acctuyl do. like turn off lights change into pjs

this feeling of emptyness all started bout year and half ago maybe lil longer ago. but i just dont know how to fix it
havnt told people . just one person and he even did reserch for me. but that didnt work
and i dont want to take meds
i allready have like 3 inhalers
4 allergy meds
i get panic attacks and i dont know why. nothing happens to trigger them
pain meds for mussels and wrist
headach meds cuz they make me sick sometimes
and i hate takeing meds..every time i go to doctors they try to insest something is wrong with me im sick with something new every time. never once went and they told me. yes shes growing perfectly nothing wrong.

i just want someone to tell me im wrong. or someone to tell me yes you are. or a suggestion of a hobbie i can do to take my mind of. well nothing the emptyness

someone please
i wont hurt myselfs
but it feels like im dieing in my head

Matt January 7, 2012 at 6:20 pm

i got a 59 im a 15yr Nordic Male and my life sucks but i dont wanna kill myself

M January 7, 2012 at 7:22 pm

Aaliyah, you are going to be fine. When you’re a teenager, everything seems monumental. But believe me, I went through a lot of depression when I was a teen and prayed for god to take my life. I remember how awful I felt. But things got better. I wouldn’t have believed it at the time, but it is true. You are so young and have lots of life ahead of you. I’m very sorry that your siblings are saying such mean things about you. That’s wrong. However, suicide will not fix anything. As long as you’re alive, there is hope. And I can tell that you are very mature for your age and a great writer. Don’t listen to your siblings. Believe in yourself and pray for the strength you need. You will get through this down phase. I promise you that. Love and strength to you! And I got a 35 on the test. Life is taking a difficult turn for me at the moment, but I’ve been around the block enough to know that it’s not permanent and the darkness will lift and the light will shine again.

Lisa January 7, 2012 at 9:31 pm

I cant believe my depression is out of control, I gained wait and dont want to be in this world anymore. why do I have to be punished, when I dont want to be here. My kids dont listen to me and my youngest hates me. so Im gonna drink till my day is near why suffer ,just make it come quicker so Im out of my misery. Im sorry If I hurt my family, but I cant pretend like everything is ok when its not, so bottoms up keep drinking till its all over. They’ll be all ok when Im gone, just live to try to make it my last!!!

meg January 7, 2012 at 10:41 pm

im 15 and i got 78 serve depression, i dont know. i just feel like the world has collapse on me. i dont know what to do or what to think anymore i’ve given up and i dont know why. i dont know how i feel,i just want things to go back to the way they were when i was a kid. i just want someone to care about me for once in my life. i know i need help, but i dont want to see a doctor, i just want my life back, i want to be me. what should i do???

anonymous January 8, 2012 at 12:54 am

got a 41… but I also migh be insane…
I know people care about me, but i dont care about them.
I dont care about most people.
some people have fantasies about sex or drugs….. when I daydream, its about how quickly and effectively I can kill the people around me. I never actually would though, but I know that because I am aware that I could do it if I really wanted to. I dont dream about taking my own life, but about getting rid of the people around me until I can do what I want without being interferred with or judged. I’ve never done anything ‘bad’ in my life, because I want to do those things before I die, so I will. Which I want to be later, not now. But for now I will almost be content with killing people in my minds eye…

anonymous January 8, 2012 at 12:59 am

Not to mention I’m overly critical, but if people did or gave my what I wanted, I’d just end up spoiled…. not to mention I dont know what I want…. But I know that I wouldnt ever kill myself. I might do something, like the military that could end up killing me, but I’d much rather kill people than be killed…. that doesnt stop me from feeling like my life has no meaning though… oh and im 14 btw…

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